Monday, October 1, 2012

How 'Bout Them Eagles!

So there I was last night waiting for Boardwalk Empire to come on, and as I waited I was watching the Eagles vs Giants. Chris Collingsworth tried to ruin my mood, but being the stalwart that I am I refused to allow him to alter my good mood. Chris couldn't, but Fat Andrew's charges had me grumbling from the outset.

When the channel guide reminded me to change to HBO I had the impression that when I returned sometime in the 4th quarter Vick might have already been carted off the field. I mean the o-line was missing two starters and the back-ups looked as pathetic as King Dunlap would have - so I figured the flags at the Linc would be at half mast after Vick was run over by Tuck and his friends. How surprised I was to see the Eagles locked in a low scoring contest with the team from N. Jersey, and that they still had a shot of ending the night with a win. After watching B'Walk and Treme I would get to see the end of a close game.

I was right. The game was close, and as you all know the Eagles ended up with yet another 1 point win. They are now 3-1 and sitting atop the NFC East. That's the good news. The bad news is that their combined margin of victory in the three wins is a whopping 4 points. Their record could easily be 0-4 so I suggest holding off on ordering your Super Bowl tickets. You may want to wait a bit before you load up on the Green Kool-Aid at least until you finish all the Red shit that is still in your fridges.

We are told that Fat Boy no longer calls the plays. If that is true then is there any question why Big Marty (Sells Carpets For Less) Mornningham is no longer the head coach of the Detroit Lions. Where was his head during the last Eagle drive that lead to the field goal which gave them the win. Why was Shady McCoy pulled out on third and goal and replaced by someone who's name we can't remember? Why didn't they attempt a Michael Vick option on third down? Beats the shit out of me. And is there any truth to the rumor that on Andrews plastic coated card there are no plays but the numbers of various hot wing and cheesesteak shops that will deliver him some tidbits before his post game "We have to do better" presser? After 14 years of being the head coach - why doesn't he yet have a clue?

As my friend Bob said to me today - they won, be happy. Bob doesn't get it either. I'll be happy when our defensive backs are taught that they cannot tackle tht receivers before they catch the balls. Two pass interference calls that late in the game almost ave Eli Manning the opportunity of pulling another 4th quarter comeback win out of his redneck ass. Shit, he went to Ole Miss which means he may not even be able to read, yet there he was leading the Housewives Of New Jersey down the field. If it wasn't for the offensive interference penalty at the end of the game Tynes would have had a chip shot attempt and the Birds would have ended up with a big loss instead of the win.

The next time El Gordo calls a time out to freeze the kicker, he should be shot. Freezing the kicker on an NFL team is a bit different than doing it to the kicker on a Pee Wee league team. These guys are the best of the best and I've never seen this strategy work. Have you? And it sure looked like Tyne's second attempt was going to be good before falling short by a couple of yards. Though they tried to lose the game they caught a break and are now 3-1.

Enough of the Eagles. I would be remiss if I didn't wish Ryan Howard a good off season. Howard's season ended this past weekend when he dropped a lead practice bat on his foot and broke a toe. I can't be certain, but my bet is that he spit into his batting gloves and the thing slipped out. Again, I'm not certain, but it sounds reasonable to me.

Howard, who is still owed $105,000,000 over the next 4 years of his contract had a helluva year - don't you think. Let's review: The big Piece Of Shit gave us a huge batting average of .219! His OBP came in at .295 ( more like a utility infielder from The DR rather than a teams clutch #4 hitter). He did hit 14 homers which brought his slugging % to .423 and drove in 56 runs after coming back.

Charlie when asked about Howards performance stated that he expected good things out of Howard next year (What else can he say?) When pressed he did acknowledge that Howards 14 HR's & 56 RBI's was not enough.

When asked about his off-season plans Howard said that he planned a vigorous work out regime. He also said that he was thinking of going on a diet sometime in October. I suppose that looking in the mirror isn't very appealing to the Sultan Of Spit and that he would like to lower his weight so that he has a shot to hit his weight next season. Hey Howard: Jumping jacks' ready begin!

I must acknowledge those BALTIMORE ORIOLES who have clinched their first playoff appearence since 1997, and who are tied with the Yankees for the AL East lead. Can you imagine how bad Showalter wants to finish ahead of the Yankees?

On tap this week is the first debate between Obama and the Android man. Romney's people have leaked the news that Romney has been working since August on coming up with zingers to use against the president. Who the fuck does he think he is - Don Rickles? The prick won't tell us how he plans to give the 1% another huge tax cut, spend more on defense than we do now, save medicare and social security, reduce the deficit without putting a huge burden on the middle class, but he's rehearsing a stand-up routine. What's he gonna do call Obama a hockey puck and declare himself the debate winner?

That's it for now. I'm going to do a nice bowl of Ben & Jerry's Heavenly Hash and chill out. I suspect that I'll have some comments after the debate.