Well, the unofficial start of the summer season is here and, though summer doesn't really start until the third week in June, Mother Nature has made it feel more like August than the end of May. The LSF hates summer weather and thanks whoever had the intelligence and foresight to invent air-conditioning. Back when I was a kid the only AC was at the movie theaters who all seemed to have a blue sign with snow covered mountains telling you that it was cool inside. The sign beckoned us and we gladly paid our 25 cents so that, for a few hours, we could escape the oppressive heat and humidity. Once inside, we were more than likely treated to a western, filmed in the new technicolor or a WWII story. When the LSF was in his formative years, the "Big One" had only been over for a few years and Hollywood was churning out a gazillion war movies for our entertainment.
I was amazed at how John Wayne could at the same time be wiping out the Japs at Iwo Jima while storming the beaches at Normandy, but he could and did and in his spare time found a way to solve the problem of the non-exploding torpedoes his sub carried. Wayne was portrayed as a man's man, almost single-handedly winning the war. Wayne was a fraud boys and girls. While some of Hollywood's biggest stars served, he ducked putting on a uniform for real and was never in harm's way for real.
Being Memorial Day Weekend, TCM is doing the war movie thing, which pleases me greatly. Tonight is submarine night and I've already watched Run Silent Run Deep, am now listening to Destination Tokyo, starring Cary Grant and John Garfield, and will later watch Torpedo Run, starring James Garner and Edmond O'Brien. I love the old black and white war movies, especially the submarine films. Warner Bros. put out a ton of them with an ensemble cast that always had the same actors in every film. These films were all about good versus evil - black versus white with no shades of gray. We were the good guys and, even though some of the favorite characters never made it back, we always found a way to use American ingenuity and superiority to win the day. If it were only that simple.
I did check in with the Phillies who managed to commit three errors, almost blowing a win against the Madoffs. The good guys held on and won 6-3, but they were sloppy. A win is a win however, and it was nice to see Dom Brown contribute since he has yet to show me that he can hit big league pitching the way we need him to. Perhaps the Phillies were looking past the Madoffs to the trip into Pittsburgh at the end of the road trip where they will have to overcome my newly beloved team - The Pirates. Superstar must have forgot his bats so he struck out twice in what is looking like a quest to set a new single season strikeout record.
Speaking of bats, last night I watched "Jews and Baseball," a history of Jews in the majors, and couldn't help but compare the bat that Hank Greenberg used with what Superstar and others use today. Greenberg's bats look like a telephone pole compared to the toothpicks used today, and it didn't seem to affect his bat speed at all (and he didn't break his bat every other at bat). The Mick was shown striking out against Sandy Koufax in the 1963 World Series, and it took two bat boys to lift his club back to the dugout. In that game, Koufax struck out fifteen Yankees to set a series record. My point is that today's players are pussies compared to those guys. I never saw Mantle wear batting gloves and Willie Mays would have rather died than wear body armor like Superstar does. I never saw anyone back then use leg armor either. If you hit a foul ball off your foot, you shook it off and got back in the box waiting for some chin music - which was expected and part of the game.
You all know how I feel about pitch counts and that kind of pussy shit. Maybe the managers of that era couldn't count, but pitch counts didn't exist when Koufax, Drysdale, Gibson, or Palmer took the mound. There were no guys who only pitched against lefthanders or whatever - you just pitched, and then pitched again in three days. Nobody had to get stretched out either. Today's athletes are bigger stronger, faster, and in better shape from year round training than the guys from back in my day, but it seems as if they spend more time on the DL these days than they do playing.
If you have the chance you ought to watch "Jews and Baseball." Even if you are not Jewish you will marvel at the great players shown, and will see the game before it was fucked up with astro turf, domed stadia, and the dreaded DH. The first DH is profiled in Mike Bloomberg who in 1973 had that distinction while playing for the Yankees. In case you hadn't figured it out, I do not like the DH. Shit, if we had it here, then Cliff Lee would not have had the chance to hit the ground rule double the other night against the Reds and we would have probably lost that game.
Being that it is Memorial Day Weekend, they are having a party out there in Indiana - where men are men and the sheep are just plain scared (Someone from the Hoosier state told me that gem). This is the big one if you are into auto racing, and who will not have a tear in their eye when Gomer Pyle does his rendition of "Back Home In Indiana" just prior to the call of start your engines? After that, be prepared for watching 2,000 left turns as 33 drivers attempt to avoid a fiery crash while trying to win the Borg-Warner cup and the bottle of milk that goes with it. My friend Bob is all excited since his favorite driver, Danica Patrick, is joined by another woman in the quest for the trophy. Bob is a very sick guy in that he, an east coast guy who has never been to an auto race in his life, has a poster of Patrick displayed in his office.
In a previous life, the LSF has been to a few races - sprint cars to be exact. My recollection of watching these races is that they were OK, but the noise level was much too loud for my comfort. I imagine that the noise at the Indy 500 would make the noise from sprint cars seem like a whisper, and that doesn't include the roar of the 1/2 million people packed into the Brickyard. While I am not a fan of these types of things, and want nothing to do with crowds of that size, I appreciate the traditions involved and hope that a Brazilian doesn't win the thing again.
I will be at a traditional barbecue in the park with some nice folks and plenty of good food, including the best mac and cheese on the planet. I'll be watching the true national pastime - gluttony in action, all to the background of some fine r&b music. You may hear country shit at an auto race, but not at a holiday cook out in a city park. Whatever you are doing this weekend, have a great time - don't drink too much and I'll touch base with you on the other side of the weekend.
Saturday, May 28, 2011
Thursday, May 26, 2011
I TRIED TO STAY UP!!!!!
So I come home from my Wednesday night line dance class figuring that I would get to see the end of the Phillies game. When I turned it on, the Fightins had a 3-1 lead with Doc on the mound. It turns out I was wrong in my assumption that a stroke mark in the W column was a foregone conclusion. I won't bore you with the details of what you already know but, if I hadn't fell asleep after the 15th inning, I could have seen what amounted to a nine-plus inning contest. I'm sorry I missed the end, but at least the good guys did go on and win.
I ought to get the credit out of the way early in the post - so here goes... As you know, I am quick to be critical of Superstar when he swings at pitches too low and too outside to be strikes in any league, and he had a few of those swings in his seven (!) at-bats. He did manage two hits, including a monster home run that tied the game. It was a no-doubt-about-it shot from the moment the ball hit the bat - and it couldn't have come at a better time in the game. My biggest credit to Superstar is not the home run (he gets paid a lot of money to hit home runs) but for his play at first base. There was a stretch where J-Roll had to make long throws in a hurry and every one of them were balls that Howard had to dig out of the dirt, saving Rollins ass and getting critical outs during the extra inning portion of the game. Superstar obviously gloves low balls better than he hits them and deserves a good looking out from Rollins.
It was not a night where the padding of batting averages took place. Ibanez? 1/8. Ruiz? 1/7. Polanco? 1/8. Rolen? 0/7. Hernandez? 1/7. Brandon (I can't stop chirping) Phillips? 1/7. The big hitter for the good guys was Valdez who came in at 3/6 (more on Valdez in a moment). So, what does that tell us? To me it means that both teams are still suffering from ED of the bats, and that some unlikely heroes emerged from both squads' relief corps.
Herndon got out of a bases-loaded jam and went on to give the Phillies two and a third innings of spotless relief. He was asked to man up and he certainly was up to the task last night. His reward for the great performance was a ticket to Allentown to make room for Contreras, who is being activated today. Nobody ever said life is fair.
I haven't looked this factoid up, but I believe that the last time Danys Baez tossed five innings was when he was playing little league. So much for the need to stretch guys out before having them pitch multiple innings. Baez, who is 33, threw five shut out innings and deserves a big "Yo!" from all Phillies fans. He's got to be feeling it today but, even when Charlie told him his night/morning was over, the guy did not want to come out. His balls were bigger than his brains, but you have to love his heart.
I'm writing this while listening to today's game, so I am pleased to report that Ibanez has just hit a three run shot giving the Phils a 4-0 lead at the end of three.
I must also give some credit to J.C. Romero for his brilliant pick-off of Brandon Phillips. Phillips, who was on second at the time was too busy yapping to notice that he was picked off - it couldn't happen to a nicer guy. That pick-off was the only out Romero was able to get. I could be wrong, but against three batters he managed but one strike, walked two, and hit Phillips with a pitch to the wrist. My only complaint is that he didn't hit the guy in the head. Romero brought nothing last night (apart from another example to prove that he might have the best turn-to-second in baseball) and, if wasn't a southpaw he would be paying the toll at exit 33 instead of Herndon.
I missed the best part of the game, though I have since seen the replays of Wilson Valdez pitching and getting the win. The guy, who has never thrown a single pitch at any level of organized baseball, brought a 90 MPH fastball and a curve to the mound, and managed to hit Scott "Get-me-outta-Philly" Rolen with a pitch, earning Valdez a standing O from those fans still at the park. Valdez ought to retire after getting the win with just four pitches in relief on top of getting three hits. It will forever be his finest hour, and he will be remembered in Philly sports lore for a long time to come.
LIVE UPDATE - I crowed too soon when Ibanez hit his shot. In the top of the fourth, Yanish got his first hit of the series driving in Cairo & Bruce making it 4-2. Somebody needs to break Bruce's kneecap - the guy is a registered Phillie killer.
I'm hoping that today doesn't go into extra innings since I am having facial twitches listening to T-Mac & Wheels. If their play-by-plays were broadcast to Afghanistan or Pakistan, the Taliban would drop their arms and surrender en masse. War crime trials would be called for against the Phillies broadcast team.
Of course, there is more to the world than sports.
I doubt if you ever turn on CNBC in the AM to watch the show Squawk Box, given how you must feel about the market in this era of rampant greed and corporate evil. Given that most of the hosts & guests are assholes with an agenda to push, I don't normally watch it anymore now that I'm no longer in that sleazy business. I did from time to time check the show out when there was news of interest, and to see Mark Haines report it.
Haines, who died last night at the all-too-young age of 65, was the voice of reason and cynicism who could always be counted on to smell out the bullshit being dispensed by money managers or CEO's, and to ask these dickheads the tough questions. Haines had no agenda except getting to the truth. He was not afraid of anyone, including Jack Welch, who was, at the time of Haines hiring, CEO of CNBC's parent company, GE. My favorite Haines story was the time he was interviewing Barney Frank who, like most politicos, would not provide a straight answer to a tough but fair question. Haines kept on asking the same question until an enraged Barney Frank took off his mike and stormed off the set.
The one time KYW-TV anchor will be missed.
I ought to get the credit out of the way early in the post - so here goes... As you know, I am quick to be critical of Superstar when he swings at pitches too low and too outside to be strikes in any league, and he had a few of those swings in his seven (!) at-bats. He did manage two hits, including a monster home run that tied the game. It was a no-doubt-about-it shot from the moment the ball hit the bat - and it couldn't have come at a better time in the game. My biggest credit to Superstar is not the home run (he gets paid a lot of money to hit home runs) but for his play at first base. There was a stretch where J-Roll had to make long throws in a hurry and every one of them were balls that Howard had to dig out of the dirt, saving Rollins ass and getting critical outs during the extra inning portion of the game. Superstar obviously gloves low balls better than he hits them and deserves a good looking out from Rollins.
It was not a night where the padding of batting averages took place. Ibanez? 1/8. Ruiz? 1/7. Polanco? 1/8. Rolen? 0/7. Hernandez? 1/7. Brandon (I can't stop chirping) Phillips? 1/7. The big hitter for the good guys was Valdez who came in at 3/6 (more on Valdez in a moment). So, what does that tell us? To me it means that both teams are still suffering from ED of the bats, and that some unlikely heroes emerged from both squads' relief corps.
Herndon got out of a bases-loaded jam and went on to give the Phillies two and a third innings of spotless relief. He was asked to man up and he certainly was up to the task last night. His reward for the great performance was a ticket to Allentown to make room for Contreras, who is being activated today. Nobody ever said life is fair.
I haven't looked this factoid up, but I believe that the last time Danys Baez tossed five innings was when he was playing little league. So much for the need to stretch guys out before having them pitch multiple innings. Baez, who is 33, threw five shut out innings and deserves a big "Yo!" from all Phillies fans. He's got to be feeling it today but, even when Charlie told him his night/morning was over, the guy did not want to come out. His balls were bigger than his brains, but you have to love his heart.
I'm writing this while listening to today's game, so I am pleased to report that Ibanez has just hit a three run shot giving the Phils a 4-0 lead at the end of three.
I must also give some credit to J.C. Romero for his brilliant pick-off of Brandon Phillips. Phillips, who was on second at the time was too busy yapping to notice that he was picked off - it couldn't happen to a nicer guy. That pick-off was the only out Romero was able to get. I could be wrong, but against three batters he managed but one strike, walked two, and hit Phillips with a pitch to the wrist. My only complaint is that he didn't hit the guy in the head. Romero brought nothing last night (apart from another example to prove that he might have the best turn-to-second in baseball) and, if wasn't a southpaw he would be paying the toll at exit 33 instead of Herndon.
I missed the best part of the game, though I have since seen the replays of Wilson Valdez pitching and getting the win. The guy, who has never thrown a single pitch at any level of organized baseball, brought a 90 MPH fastball and a curve to the mound, and managed to hit Scott "Get-me-outta-Philly" Rolen with a pitch, earning Valdez a standing O from those fans still at the park. Valdez ought to retire after getting the win with just four pitches in relief on top of getting three hits. It will forever be his finest hour, and he will be remembered in Philly sports lore for a long time to come.
LIVE UPDATE - I crowed too soon when Ibanez hit his shot. In the top of the fourth, Yanish got his first hit of the series driving in Cairo & Bruce making it 4-2. Somebody needs to break Bruce's kneecap - the guy is a registered Phillie killer.
I'm hoping that today doesn't go into extra innings since I am having facial twitches listening to T-Mac & Wheels. If their play-by-plays were broadcast to Afghanistan or Pakistan, the Taliban would drop their arms and surrender en masse. War crime trials would be called for against the Phillies broadcast team.
Of course, there is more to the world than sports.
I doubt if you ever turn on CNBC in the AM to watch the show Squawk Box, given how you must feel about the market in this era of rampant greed and corporate evil. Given that most of the hosts & guests are assholes with an agenda to push, I don't normally watch it anymore now that I'm no longer in that sleazy business. I did from time to time check the show out when there was news of interest, and to see Mark Haines report it.
Haines, who died last night at the all-too-young age of 65, was the voice of reason and cynicism who could always be counted on to smell out the bullshit being dispensed by money managers or CEO's, and to ask these dickheads the tough questions. Haines had no agenda except getting to the truth. He was not afraid of anyone, including Jack Welch, who was, at the time of Haines hiring, CEO of CNBC's parent company, GE. My favorite Haines story was the time he was interviewing Barney Frank who, like most politicos, would not provide a straight answer to a tough but fair question. Haines kept on asking the same question until an enraged Barney Frank took off his mike and stormed off the set.
The one time KYW-TV anchor will be missed.
Wednesday, May 25, 2011
MAYBE THE WORST TRADE EVER
So, I'm sitting watching the Phillies and the Reds all tied up at three and my mind starts to wonder even before I've had my bowl of Heavenly Hash. I start thinking about some of the great players who have worn the uniform of the Cincinnati Reds. In my lifetime they have had some marvelous players including Bench, Morgan, Perez, Griffey, and George Foster from the Sparky Anderson-led Big Red Machine, to name but a few. In the '50s they had guys like Ted Kluzewski, Wally Post, Gus Bell, Vada Pinson, and a guy named Frank Robinson who might have been the second best overall player this LSF has ever seen play. The guy could play the game of baseball.
It's been a while since I've cranked up the Wayback Machine so I thought, despite $4.00 a gallon gasoline, I would take a spin back to the time this awesome player came up to the majors.
Robinson hailed from Oakland, where he attended McClymonds, a high school that has produced more than its share of great athletes - in all sports. While there he was a teammate of the great Bill Russell on the school's state championship hoops squad. Baseball was Robinson's calling and he broke in with the Redlegs at the beginning of the 1956 season. He stayed in the majors for a total of twenty years, finishing his career with the then-lowly Indians. As a sample of what was to come, Robinson hit .290, 38 HR's with 83 RBI's as a twenty year-old rookie. Over the next several seasons, he hit 324 HR's in a Reds uniform, was named rookie of the year, and NL MVP in 1961. A perennial all-star, he was right up there with Mays and Aaron as the class of the NL.
After the 1965 season, Reds GM Bill Dewitt, believing Robinson to be an old thirty and on the downswing of his career, traded Robinson to the Orioles for pitchers Milt Pappas, Jack (former Phillie) Baldschun, and outfielder Dick Simpson. Robinson was clearly not finished and he proceed to win the AL MVP in 1966 as well as the Triple Crown - in his first year at Memorial Stadium.
I've documented some horrible trades made by our Phillies over the years but the trade of Robinson to the O's is the worst ever made in my lifetime. Robinson helped the O's to two World Series wins and while there he managed to hit 179 HR's. Not bad for an old guy. He played out the string with the Dodgers, Angels, and finally the Tribe, finishing his career with 586 HR's, 1812 RBI's , and a .294 career average.
After finishing his playing career, Robinson became the first black manager and was selected to the Hall Of Fame.
Since we are in Cincy I'll have a bowl of chili then take the Wayback Machine back to the present where the Phillies and Reds are still in a tie ball game headed into the 9th.
The Phillies slumbering bats have been stirring the past two nights which is nice to see. Ibanez, Ruiz, and even Superstar are starting to hit 'em where they ain't but, unlike Balls, who last night declared the big slump over as he slurped the Red Kool-Aid, I'll be patient before I see blue skies ahead for the candystripers. Winning tonight would be a good omen, but already the Reds have a man on second with nobody out here in the ninth. Madson needs to remain perfect - we'll see how it turns out.
It's been a while since I've cranked up the Wayback Machine so I thought, despite $4.00 a gallon gasoline, I would take a spin back to the time this awesome player came up to the majors.
Robinson hailed from Oakland, where he attended McClymonds, a high school that has produced more than its share of great athletes - in all sports. While there he was a teammate of the great Bill Russell on the school's state championship hoops squad. Baseball was Robinson's calling and he broke in with the Redlegs at the beginning of the 1956 season. He stayed in the majors for a total of twenty years, finishing his career with the then-lowly Indians. As a sample of what was to come, Robinson hit .290, 38 HR's with 83 RBI's as a twenty year-old rookie. Over the next several seasons, he hit 324 HR's in a Reds uniform, was named rookie of the year, and NL MVP in 1961. A perennial all-star, he was right up there with Mays and Aaron as the class of the NL.
After the 1965 season, Reds GM Bill Dewitt, believing Robinson to be an old thirty and on the downswing of his career, traded Robinson to the Orioles for pitchers Milt Pappas, Jack (former Phillie) Baldschun, and outfielder Dick Simpson. Robinson was clearly not finished and he proceed to win the AL MVP in 1966 as well as the Triple Crown - in his first year at Memorial Stadium.
I've documented some horrible trades made by our Phillies over the years but the trade of Robinson to the O's is the worst ever made in my lifetime. Robinson helped the O's to two World Series wins and while there he managed to hit 179 HR's. Not bad for an old guy. He played out the string with the Dodgers, Angels, and finally the Tribe, finishing his career with 586 HR's, 1812 RBI's , and a .294 career average.
After finishing his playing career, Robinson became the first black manager and was selected to the Hall Of Fame.
Since we are in Cincy I'll have a bowl of chili then take the Wayback Machine back to the present where the Phillies and Reds are still in a tie ball game headed into the 9th.
The Phillies slumbering bats have been stirring the past two nights which is nice to see. Ibanez, Ruiz, and even Superstar are starting to hit 'em where they ain't but, unlike Balls, who last night declared the big slump over as he slurped the Red Kool-Aid, I'll be patient before I see blue skies ahead for the candystripers. Winning tonight would be a good omen, but already the Reds have a man on second with nobody out here in the ninth. Madson needs to remain perfect - we'll see how it turns out.
Monday, May 23, 2011
TWO OUTTA THREE AIN'T BAD!
What a weekend. While not a fan of interleague play, the LSF will certainly take a series win from the defending AL champs. I am utterly amazed that the Phillies still have a 2 game lead in the NL East considering how they are not hitting. Yes, Superstar did manage to break an 0/23 slump with a home run in Saturday's Cliff Lee win but, as far as I can remember, the only other hit the guy got was a seeing eye single in today's shut-out loss to the Rangers. None of the starting line-up is doing much at the plate and that includes Polanco who has seen his average plummet nearly 80 points in less than a week. Francisco looks like his average will soon fall below the Mendoza line and, while showing an improvement over April, Ibanez is still stinking up the place.
Fortunately, the team is still getting incredibly great starting pitching and Madson has been lights out in his new role as closer. If and when Lidge gets back he will probably assume the role Durbin filled the past couple of years. Hopefully Worley will continue his great showing when Blanton goes away to the DL, but who knows. One thing is for sure - there will be no easy division repeat this season. The Phillies have been lucky that their rivals haven't exactly lit up the scoreboard either. Hitting in the majors is down across the board allowing lady luck to control the divisions. Actually, it isn't lady luck but rather the gods of baseball who, as we know, control everything and must have their reasons for the paucity of great hitting this season. Since first place is the best place to be, I shouldn't be too critical of our candystripers, but that wouldn't be any fun now, would it?
Superstar's performance continues to suck, and he is still swinging at pitches any little leaguer would not offer at. The way he swings at pitches below the ankle he might want to consider giving Tiger Woods lessons on his golf swing. This is the same guy who a few short years ago was named the NL MVP. With his average now at or below .240 he is on the verge of becoming the new Dave Kingman without Kingman's home run production. The look in his eyes tells me that he is pressing much too hard, and not getting results. I know that he is the man and all that, but perhaps Charlie ought to sit him down for a few games so that he might catch his breath and reflect on the paychecks he is stealing. Shit, with the team down to its last few outs and needing a couple of runs the guy tried to bunt his way on today. DUH! If he came up with that move on his own he needs to be bitch slapped. Did he think he could have legged it out safely? He isn't what I would call a speedster on the basepaths. If Charlie called it then Charlie is ready for a vacation, unless that was Charlie's way of letting the guy know that he has lost his manager's confidence and that he needs to refocus on his game rather than whatever else he is involved in.
When one of your team's highlights is Cliff Lee stealing a base, then you are in trouble no matter what place you are in. This team needs help. Victorino being on the DL has not helped and I hope that when he comes back he can pick up where he left off. Dom Brown is back with the club, a day after Ruben told us that he wasn't ready. Did Ruben lie to us again or did Charlie beg for the kid? The braintrust stated upon his return that he would play only in certain situations. I thought the whole idea for him being in Allentown was so that he could play everyday so that he could regain his confidence and work on his defense since we have all seen that he didn't play any the last time he was here. Now he'll be a part time player, defeating the purpose of being in the minors. I wish Ruben would have been honest and told us that the team is desperate and that was the reason for bringing the kid up at this time.
I read in today's paper an article which stated that Ruben may have to look to do a deal in order to bring in some help for the offense if there was any hope to return to the playoffs. While I don't disagree with the premise, the writer suggested that current Padre Ryan Ludwick might be the righthanded bat with power the Phillies ought to consider. Correct me if I'm wrong but, when the Phillies played the Padres earlier in the season, didn't Ludwick stink up the place as if he was already wearing the candystripes? The guy is hitting well below .250 with decreased power. And who would we give up in return for this hitter? Blanton is damaged goods which makes him all but untradeable. Do you offer Kendrick? Maybe Worley could bring you something, but unless you trade him to a Japanese club he will surely become the next Ferguson Jenkins and bite you in the ass for years to come. And what about Ruben's claim that his checkbook has been taken away from him by the Phillies management? That would preclude him trading for anybody with a big contract, so maybe we are truly fucked and have to hope that the over-the-hill oft injured gang can find a way to make a last run for glory. One can only hope.
Oh yes, I forgot to mention that Chase Utley is back in Philly. He is scheduled to be examined by a doctor and the team's athletic trainer and could possibly be activated in the next few days. If he can play at anywhere close to his former self he would be a welcome sight to the LSF's eyes since watching Valdez hit into double plays is starting to get old. I for one am not counting on anything from Utley - I'd rather be pleasantly surprised.
Finally, the world did not come to an end as predicted by those religious idiots so I'm sorry to be the one to tell you that you need to pay your cable bill. If you've maxed out your credit cards figuring that you wouldn't have to pay them off, you lose. Visa will shut you down in a New York minute if you don't pay them the minimum requested. If you do pay off the minimum due every month you will owe them big money longer than most marriages last.
Finally, part two. Yesterday, we went to a car collector's show somewhere in Delaware County. I say somewhere because I have no clue where Aldan or Norwood or Prospect Park is. Anyway, there weren't many cars to see that weren't either Corvettes or customized so that the air filter sticks out three feet above the hood. There were two cars that the LSF drooled over. The first droolmobile was a 1964 Impala SS in a metallic light blue that was in cherry condition. Everything about the car was perfect - like it just rolled off the dealer's lot. The vinyl seats matched the exterior color and, though the top was down, you could see that that canvas was white. Wow and double wow, a perfect '64 ragtop which had fake wire wheels with spinners. Number two droolmobile was a 1967 Olds 442 convertible done up in Sahara red. It had black vinyl bucket seats and came with standard a/c, which was not usually found in ragtops of that era. The chrome (real fucking chrome that is) was perfect and the original sticker affixed to the non-power window showed a final price of $4800. That was a lot of money for a car back in that day. You could get a nicely equipped Caddy or Imperial for only a few dollars more. Both of these dream cars had huge V-8's (no pussy 4 cylinders) and probably delivered 8 or nine MPG's on a good day. Not real practical in this day of $4.00 a gallon regular fuel, but they were both cooler than just about anything available today and who of you wouldn't trade your rice burner or SUV for week if you could drive either one of these bad boys. You might end the week believing in AM radio.
Fortunately, the team is still getting incredibly great starting pitching and Madson has been lights out in his new role as closer. If and when Lidge gets back he will probably assume the role Durbin filled the past couple of years. Hopefully Worley will continue his great showing when Blanton goes away to the DL, but who knows. One thing is for sure - there will be no easy division repeat this season. The Phillies have been lucky that their rivals haven't exactly lit up the scoreboard either. Hitting in the majors is down across the board allowing lady luck to control the divisions. Actually, it isn't lady luck but rather the gods of baseball who, as we know, control everything and must have their reasons for the paucity of great hitting this season. Since first place is the best place to be, I shouldn't be too critical of our candystripers, but that wouldn't be any fun now, would it?
Superstar's performance continues to suck, and he is still swinging at pitches any little leaguer would not offer at. The way he swings at pitches below the ankle he might want to consider giving Tiger Woods lessons on his golf swing. This is the same guy who a few short years ago was named the NL MVP. With his average now at or below .240 he is on the verge of becoming the new Dave Kingman without Kingman's home run production. The look in his eyes tells me that he is pressing much too hard, and not getting results. I know that he is the man and all that, but perhaps Charlie ought to sit him down for a few games so that he might catch his breath and reflect on the paychecks he is stealing. Shit, with the team down to its last few outs and needing a couple of runs the guy tried to bunt his way on today. DUH! If he came up with that move on his own he needs to be bitch slapped. Did he think he could have legged it out safely? He isn't what I would call a speedster on the basepaths. If Charlie called it then Charlie is ready for a vacation, unless that was Charlie's way of letting the guy know that he has lost his manager's confidence and that he needs to refocus on his game rather than whatever else he is involved in.
When one of your team's highlights is Cliff Lee stealing a base, then you are in trouble no matter what place you are in. This team needs help. Victorino being on the DL has not helped and I hope that when he comes back he can pick up where he left off. Dom Brown is back with the club, a day after Ruben told us that he wasn't ready. Did Ruben lie to us again or did Charlie beg for the kid? The braintrust stated upon his return that he would play only in certain situations. I thought the whole idea for him being in Allentown was so that he could play everyday so that he could regain his confidence and work on his defense since we have all seen that he didn't play any the last time he was here. Now he'll be a part time player, defeating the purpose of being in the minors. I wish Ruben would have been honest and told us that the team is desperate and that was the reason for bringing the kid up at this time.
I read in today's paper an article which stated that Ruben may have to look to do a deal in order to bring in some help for the offense if there was any hope to return to the playoffs. While I don't disagree with the premise, the writer suggested that current Padre Ryan Ludwick might be the righthanded bat with power the Phillies ought to consider. Correct me if I'm wrong but, when the Phillies played the Padres earlier in the season, didn't Ludwick stink up the place as if he was already wearing the candystripes? The guy is hitting well below .250 with decreased power. And who would we give up in return for this hitter? Blanton is damaged goods which makes him all but untradeable. Do you offer Kendrick? Maybe Worley could bring you something, but unless you trade him to a Japanese club he will surely become the next Ferguson Jenkins and bite you in the ass for years to come. And what about Ruben's claim that his checkbook has been taken away from him by the Phillies management? That would preclude him trading for anybody with a big contract, so maybe we are truly fucked and have to hope that the over-the-hill oft injured gang can find a way to make a last run for glory. One can only hope.
Oh yes, I forgot to mention that Chase Utley is back in Philly. He is scheduled to be examined by a doctor and the team's athletic trainer and could possibly be activated in the next few days. If he can play at anywhere close to his former self he would be a welcome sight to the LSF's eyes since watching Valdez hit into double plays is starting to get old. I for one am not counting on anything from Utley - I'd rather be pleasantly surprised.
Finally, the world did not come to an end as predicted by those religious idiots so I'm sorry to be the one to tell you that you need to pay your cable bill. If you've maxed out your credit cards figuring that you wouldn't have to pay them off, you lose. Visa will shut you down in a New York minute if you don't pay them the minimum requested. If you do pay off the minimum due every month you will owe them big money longer than most marriages last.
Finally, part two. Yesterday, we went to a car collector's show somewhere in Delaware County. I say somewhere because I have no clue where Aldan or Norwood or Prospect Park is. Anyway, there weren't many cars to see that weren't either Corvettes or customized so that the air filter sticks out three feet above the hood. There were two cars that the LSF drooled over. The first droolmobile was a 1964 Impala SS in a metallic light blue that was in cherry condition. Everything about the car was perfect - like it just rolled off the dealer's lot. The vinyl seats matched the exterior color and, though the top was down, you could see that that canvas was white. Wow and double wow, a perfect '64 ragtop which had fake wire wheels with spinners. Number two droolmobile was a 1967 Olds 442 convertible done up in Sahara red. It had black vinyl bucket seats and came with standard a/c, which was not usually found in ragtops of that era. The chrome (real fucking chrome that is) was perfect and the original sticker affixed to the non-power window showed a final price of $4800. That was a lot of money for a car back in that day. You could get a nicely equipped Caddy or Imperial for only a few dollars more. Both of these dream cars had huge V-8's (no pussy 4 cylinders) and probably delivered 8 or nine MPG's on a good day. Not real practical in this day of $4.00 a gallon regular fuel, but they were both cooler than just about anything available today and who of you wouldn't trade your rice burner or SUV for week if you could drive either one of these bad boys. You might end the week believing in AM radio.
Friday, May 20, 2011
BROTHERS
Lately the Long Suffering Fan has had to make some tough choices about what to watch on TV. For whatever reason, many of my favorite movies (films, if you prefer) have been shown at the same time as a Phillies game causing me to have to decide if I am going to be entertained or suffer aggravation and stress from watching our favorite team show me that they suck to the max. The other evening I started watching our candystripers but the pain was so intense I switched over to IFC and Once Upon A Time In America, a three and a half hour Sergio Leone classic starring Robert DeNiro, James Woods, Danny Aiello, Elizabeth McGovern, and others. If you haven't seen it - you should. Lots of great music from Ennio Morricone. The other interesting thing is that it's a film about Jewish gangsters that was made by Italians, as opposed to the usual movie about Italian gangsters made by Jews.
They've also been showing a bunch of Quentin Tarantino films and, despite having seen them all many times, I ended up doing Jackie Brown, Reservoir Dogs and Pulp Fiction after being disgusted by the Phillies' moribund bats.
Face it gang, as we head into interleague play, old Looney Tunes cartoons are more entertaining than watching the Phillies line up make mince meat out of excellent outings by our pitching staff. Last night was no exception. I started out with the Phillies and ended up with Master & Commander which is not even Russell Crowe's best effort [Editor's note - That would be Romper Stomper]. I mean, how could I not think of what George Carlin said about guys named Kyle after watching Kendrick make the 78 year old Jason Giambi look like Babe Ruth?
Giambi, who many believed to be already retired, has done nothing this year and was about to be released by the Rockies before he took Kendrick so deep in his first at-bat that NORAD was put on alert. The guy has a white beard and looks like a sausage in his uniform, but Kendrick grooved one and Giambi put it in orbit. By the end of the night he had hit three home runs becoming the second oldest to ever have three HR's in a game. Giambi, who was playing because of an injury to Todd Helton, looked like he had made a trip to BALCO before last nights game. Remember, he was the guy who, with tears in his eyes, apologized for taking performance enhancing drugs while with the A's & the Yankees.
I couldn't help but think that the Phillies could have had Giambi a few years ago. Before he signed a humongous contract with the Yankees we Phillies fans begged the front office to make the guy an offer. We desperately needed a power hitter and he would have fit the bill nicely. Not wanting to let the fan base down the Phillies did indeed sign Giambi - JEREMY Giambi. Jeremy was probably a nice guy. His family probably loved him and his dogs may have always wagged their tails when he walked into the room, but he was not the Giambi brother we wanted. Thinking of how we ended up with the wrong Giambi, I decided to explore other major league brother situations. Sometimes the Phillies had the right brother, but usually we did not.
It won't be long until Greg Maddux is elected to the Hall Of Fame on the first ballot. The guy could flat out pitch, plying his trade for the Cubs and the hated Braves. Not to be outdone by Ted Turner, the Phillies went out and picked up Greg's big brother Mike. Again, Mike is probably a decent guy, but he is not the Maddux sib that we would have liked to see wearing candystripes.
Many baseball fans remember that Joe DiMaggio's brother Dom played for many years with the Red Sox. Dom was a decent player in his own right. Though not of the caliber of his brother Joe, he did make a few all-star teams and would have looked good in a Phillies uniform. Dom never wore the stripes, but the third brother Vince did. Vince DiMaggio played for the Phillies in the '45 & '46 seasons. The only way Vince ever got to the Hall Of Fame was to pay whatever the price of admission was so that he could see his brother's plaque.
Remember George Bell? That man could hit a baseball, but we got his kid brother Juan. Remember him? Didn't think so.
One brother thing the Phillies got right was the signing of a kid out of Wampum, PA. Wampum, basically a crossroads in Western PA, has the distinction of having three of its native sons make it to the show. There was Hank Allen, a long time journey man who played mostly for the Twins. There was also Ron Allen, who had a cup of coffee with the Cards. Most importantly there was Dick (don't call me Richie) Allen, who broke in with the '64 club and could hit with the best of them. Allen broke in as a third baseman and was the best hitting Phillie 3B I have ever seen. The guy could hit for both power and average and took shit from nobody. The early 60's was not a great time to be an angry black player in this town, so Allen wore out his welcome with the last NL team to sign a black player and was shipped to StL. He later played with the Dodgers before coming back here at the end of his career. Why the Phillies have not retired his number fifteen is a mystery to this LSF.
We fans of the Phillies were spared some brother duos. We fortunately missed both Jose and Ozzie Canseco, and never did get to see Henry Aaron's younger brother Tom in a Phils uniform. Billy Ripkin would have been a perfect Phillie and I'll always be grateful that we didn't get Cletus Boyer who would have given Bobby Malkmus a run for his money. I almost forgot that we did get the wrong Leiter brother a few years back, but I'm sure you will forgive me for almost missing him - even if you will not forgive me for other sins and transgressions.
As I have been writing this post, I have been thinking about something positive to say about our candystripers... Well, despite smelling worse than a Marcus Hook refinery they are still clinging to first place in the NL East. I suspect that this hold is about to come to an end now that the Rangers are coming to town but, for now, WE ARE IN FIRST PLACE!. Cole Hamels became the first Phillies starter in two months to get credit for a win the other night when the Phillies bats exploded for TWO runs and D Brown is apparently tearing up the International League. I don't have enough time to review the negative side of the ledger so I'll leave well enough alone - for now.
I only have one thing left to say. If Superstar has a brother - do not sign him. We already have one Howard on the team and don't need another stiff on the roster. The Big Piece has gone something like 0 for his last 20 AB's and is now hitting around .245 with the homer total stuck on eight. I thought I saw him ask the question "why can't I do that" when he saw Giambi's moonshot in the first. The SOB points his bat like Babe Ruth did in the World Series against the Cubs and hits like Dane Sardinha. If you let Howard hit off a tee he would hit the bottom of the pole. I said I wouldn't go negative, but I couldn't help myself. Maybe Superstar will rise to the occasion against AL pitching this weekend. If you believe that, then I have a bridge for you.
Have a great weekend!
They've also been showing a bunch of Quentin Tarantino films and, despite having seen them all many times, I ended up doing Jackie Brown, Reservoir Dogs and Pulp Fiction after being disgusted by the Phillies' moribund bats.
Face it gang, as we head into interleague play, old Looney Tunes cartoons are more entertaining than watching the Phillies line up make mince meat out of excellent outings by our pitching staff. Last night was no exception. I started out with the Phillies and ended up with Master & Commander which is not even Russell Crowe's best effort [Editor's note - That would be Romper Stomper]. I mean, how could I not think of what George Carlin said about guys named Kyle after watching Kendrick make the 78 year old Jason Giambi look like Babe Ruth?
Giambi, who many believed to be already retired, has done nothing this year and was about to be released by the Rockies before he took Kendrick so deep in his first at-bat that NORAD was put on alert. The guy has a white beard and looks like a sausage in his uniform, but Kendrick grooved one and Giambi put it in orbit. By the end of the night he had hit three home runs becoming the second oldest to ever have three HR's in a game. Giambi, who was playing because of an injury to Todd Helton, looked like he had made a trip to BALCO before last nights game. Remember, he was the guy who, with tears in his eyes, apologized for taking performance enhancing drugs while with the A's & the Yankees.
I couldn't help but think that the Phillies could have had Giambi a few years ago. Before he signed a humongous contract with the Yankees we Phillies fans begged the front office to make the guy an offer. We desperately needed a power hitter and he would have fit the bill nicely. Not wanting to let the fan base down the Phillies did indeed sign Giambi - JEREMY Giambi. Jeremy was probably a nice guy. His family probably loved him and his dogs may have always wagged their tails when he walked into the room, but he was not the Giambi brother we wanted. Thinking of how we ended up with the wrong Giambi, I decided to explore other major league brother situations. Sometimes the Phillies had the right brother, but usually we did not.
It won't be long until Greg Maddux is elected to the Hall Of Fame on the first ballot. The guy could flat out pitch, plying his trade for the Cubs and the hated Braves. Not to be outdone by Ted Turner, the Phillies went out and picked up Greg's big brother Mike. Again, Mike is probably a decent guy, but he is not the Maddux sib that we would have liked to see wearing candystripes.
Many baseball fans remember that Joe DiMaggio's brother Dom played for many years with the Red Sox. Dom was a decent player in his own right. Though not of the caliber of his brother Joe, he did make a few all-star teams and would have looked good in a Phillies uniform. Dom never wore the stripes, but the third brother Vince did. Vince DiMaggio played for the Phillies in the '45 & '46 seasons. The only way Vince ever got to the Hall Of Fame was to pay whatever the price of admission was so that he could see his brother's plaque.
Remember George Bell? That man could hit a baseball, but we got his kid brother Juan. Remember him? Didn't think so.
One brother thing the Phillies got right was the signing of a kid out of Wampum, PA. Wampum, basically a crossroads in Western PA, has the distinction of having three of its native sons make it to the show. There was Hank Allen, a long time journey man who played mostly for the Twins. There was also Ron Allen, who had a cup of coffee with the Cards. Most importantly there was Dick (don't call me Richie) Allen, who broke in with the '64 club and could hit with the best of them. Allen broke in as a third baseman and was the best hitting Phillie 3B I have ever seen. The guy could hit for both power and average and took shit from nobody. The early 60's was not a great time to be an angry black player in this town, so Allen wore out his welcome with the last NL team to sign a black player and was shipped to StL. He later played with the Dodgers before coming back here at the end of his career. Why the Phillies have not retired his number fifteen is a mystery to this LSF.
We fans of the Phillies were spared some brother duos. We fortunately missed both Jose and Ozzie Canseco, and never did get to see Henry Aaron's younger brother Tom in a Phils uniform. Billy Ripkin would have been a perfect Phillie and I'll always be grateful that we didn't get Cletus Boyer who would have given Bobby Malkmus a run for his money. I almost forgot that we did get the wrong Leiter brother a few years back, but I'm sure you will forgive me for almost missing him - even if you will not forgive me for other sins and transgressions.
As I have been writing this post, I have been thinking about something positive to say about our candystripers... Well, despite smelling worse than a Marcus Hook refinery they are still clinging to first place in the NL East. I suspect that this hold is about to come to an end now that the Rangers are coming to town but, for now, WE ARE IN FIRST PLACE!. Cole Hamels became the first Phillies starter in two months to get credit for a win the other night when the Phillies bats exploded for TWO runs and D Brown is apparently tearing up the International League. I don't have enough time to review the negative side of the ledger so I'll leave well enough alone - for now.
I only have one thing left to say. If Superstar has a brother - do not sign him. We already have one Howard on the team and don't need another stiff on the roster. The Big Piece has gone something like 0 for his last 20 AB's and is now hitting around .245 with the homer total stuck on eight. I thought I saw him ask the question "why can't I do that" when he saw Giambi's moonshot in the first. The SOB points his bat like Babe Ruth did in the World Series against the Cubs and hits like Dane Sardinha. If you let Howard hit off a tee he would hit the bottom of the pole. I said I wouldn't go negative, but I couldn't help myself. Maybe Superstar will rise to the occasion against AL pitching this weekend. If you believe that, then I have a bridge for you.
Have a great weekend!
Tuesday, May 17, 2011
PARADES ARE A-COMIN'
If you are the kind of person who just can't resist a parade, you are in luck. For real! In about two weeks there will be hundreds of parades all over the place celebrating Memorial Day. You can even wear the red white and blue Phillies alternative home jersey if you want because the LSF is beginning to believe that we won't be having a parade come late October.
Last night the Phillies bats continued their spring break, allowing a decent outing by Lee to go to waste. Yes, Lee allowed the most walks ever in a single game by a guy named Cliff Lee, but he still would have won the game had the team scored some runs. I understand that Cardinals pitcher Westbrook pitched a good game, but then many of you might well have done so against the line up Charlie put out there last night.
I read yesterday that the team has been scoring one run for Lee per game over his last six starts. Do you think Lee is beginning to think he should have gone to NY? I don't know what the guy is thinking but he can't be very happy. Even though Lee has not been the dominating lefty that we have seen of him in the past he certainly has pitched better than his current record shows. In that he joins Doc who also hasn't enjoyed the support of his non-hitting teammates.
Have no fear gang. Oswalt is back and he is scheduled to start today under a 65 pitch count. You know how I feel about pitch counts, but the brain trust has decided that to be today's magic number. I hope Oswalt is tossing a no-no after hitting the number. If Charlie pulls him in favor of the bullpen in that situation and they blow it then perhaps we can have an adult conversation about pitch counts. The Phillies are worried about Oswalt's back but, if the guys back is still fucked up, then why not give the ball to Worley who has won both of his starts - looking good in doing so.
Oh, they can't use Worley because, despite his two great starts and excellent relief work, Vance is now sporting a Pig on his shirt having been sent down in order to make room for Oswalt on the roster. The story is that Charlie spoke to Worley on the flight from Miami to St. Louis and blew copious amounts of smoke up the guys ass telling him that there is a spot on the team for him, especially the way he stepped up and did the job over the past few weeks. "You will be part of the equation son". "We want you to go to Allentown and stretch out so that if Oswalt or Blanton can't do the job you can come back and start for us. Now if I'm Vance Worley I'd i've been looking at Charlie like he was speaking Mandarin. I'd have reminded him that I'm a 25 year old kid who doesn't need stretching out - that what I need is the ball in a Phillies uniform. If I was Worley I'd have asked Charlie just what the fuck I have to do to stick with this team, and wonder why Kendrick doesn't make the trip up the turnpike to Iron Pig Land instead of me. If Worley had the stones he would have asked to be released or traded to a team that might appreciate his efforts and performance to date. If I was Worley I'd be both confused and pissed off about my demotion. The baseball gods can't be happy about the demotion either and I suspect they have conjured up something interesting for the Phillies as an example. The gods wanted Worley to be the man for at least another month or two. They wanted the team to be contending with Worley blowing a late September game costing the team the division and more heartbreak for the faithful. There will be payback from the gods for this very stupid move by Charlie and Ruben.
Last night Balls stopped by to bring me four of the largest bagels I have ever seen. For real, I've seen loaves of bread smaller than these things, and I plan to enjoy them. These bad boys are awesome and they will die with cream cheese all over them. The LSF no longer eats packaged white bread, limiting himself to real Jewish rye (with seeds), challah, or bagels. If you want to eat the poison called Wonderbread, or Stroehmans be my guest, but this LSF will resist the buy-one-get-one deals on packaged bread and, if you find a coupon for this shit, you needn't give me a heads up. Coupons are another source of irritation for me and I may speak to this at a later date. For now, just let me point something out about coupons. Has anyone ever seen a coupon for something that is good for you? No, really. I have never seen a coupon for tomatoes or veggies, or fruit, but I have seen a gazillion coupons for salt snacks, cookies, ice cream and even the colored sugar water called Hugs. Hugs will guarantee a lifetime of obesity and diabetes for you and your kids, but what a deal!
So, after the pride of the Athletics left last night, I saw a Dairy Queen commercial. Since it was about the time of night that my thoughts had turned to wanting to eat everything as a result of a severe case of the munchies, the commercial caught my eye. The commercial tried to tell me that DQ made the best milkshakes in the world according to a consumer panel who had taste tested the DQ product against others. Duh! The others must have included McDonalds and Burger King because they obviously didn't give the panel an old fashioned shake.
If you want the joy of a milkshake, you need to find a place that makes the thing from scratch and who does not pour some shit out of a carton into a fucking machine. You need to find a place that makes its shakes in a metal container hooked up to an Oster shake mixer. You need to find a place that uses thick syrup, several scoops of good ice cream and real milk, not some soy shit imitation. You need to find a place that knows exactly how long the shake should be mixed and then serves it to you with both a straw and a spoon. You want to hear the sound that the mixer blades make against the container when that same container is being removed from the mixer. Dairy Queen does not cut it gang, but if you believe the commercial and agree on the quality of their product I'll meet you somewhere and take you shopping for a polyester suit, dacron socks, and a nylon sport shirt made somewhere other than in the USA. If you are the type who consumes DQ shakes, McDonalds anything, or has it your way at Burger King, I know how much you like clothes made from petroleum, but I have bad news - Today's Man and Krass Bros. are not coming back! Deal with it. I don't want you to think that I am a purist by any means since I have over the years consumed my fair share of Dairy Queen cones dipped in either chocolate or jimmies, but don't tell me that they make the best shakes in the world because that insults my intelligence!
Have a great day!
Last night the Phillies bats continued their spring break, allowing a decent outing by Lee to go to waste. Yes, Lee allowed the most walks ever in a single game by a guy named Cliff Lee, but he still would have won the game had the team scored some runs. I understand that Cardinals pitcher Westbrook pitched a good game, but then many of you might well have done so against the line up Charlie put out there last night.
I read yesterday that the team has been scoring one run for Lee per game over his last six starts. Do you think Lee is beginning to think he should have gone to NY? I don't know what the guy is thinking but he can't be very happy. Even though Lee has not been the dominating lefty that we have seen of him in the past he certainly has pitched better than his current record shows. In that he joins Doc who also hasn't enjoyed the support of his non-hitting teammates.
Have no fear gang. Oswalt is back and he is scheduled to start today under a 65 pitch count. You know how I feel about pitch counts, but the brain trust has decided that to be today's magic number. I hope Oswalt is tossing a no-no after hitting the number. If Charlie pulls him in favor of the bullpen in that situation and they blow it then perhaps we can have an adult conversation about pitch counts. The Phillies are worried about Oswalt's back but, if the guys back is still fucked up, then why not give the ball to Worley who has won both of his starts - looking good in doing so.
Oh, they can't use Worley because, despite his two great starts and excellent relief work, Vance is now sporting a Pig on his shirt having been sent down in order to make room for Oswalt on the roster. The story is that Charlie spoke to Worley on the flight from Miami to St. Louis and blew copious amounts of smoke up the guys ass telling him that there is a spot on the team for him, especially the way he stepped up and did the job over the past few weeks. "You will be part of the equation son". "We want you to go to Allentown and stretch out so that if Oswalt or Blanton can't do the job you can come back and start for us. Now if I'm Vance Worley I'd i've been looking at Charlie like he was speaking Mandarin. I'd have reminded him that I'm a 25 year old kid who doesn't need stretching out - that what I need is the ball in a Phillies uniform. If I was Worley I'd have asked Charlie just what the fuck I have to do to stick with this team, and wonder why Kendrick doesn't make the trip up the turnpike to Iron Pig Land instead of me. If Worley had the stones he would have asked to be released or traded to a team that might appreciate his efforts and performance to date. If I was Worley I'd be both confused and pissed off about my demotion. The baseball gods can't be happy about the demotion either and I suspect they have conjured up something interesting for the Phillies as an example. The gods wanted Worley to be the man for at least another month or two. They wanted the team to be contending with Worley blowing a late September game costing the team the division and more heartbreak for the faithful. There will be payback from the gods for this very stupid move by Charlie and Ruben.
Last night Balls stopped by to bring me four of the largest bagels I have ever seen. For real, I've seen loaves of bread smaller than these things, and I plan to enjoy them. These bad boys are awesome and they will die with cream cheese all over them. The LSF no longer eats packaged white bread, limiting himself to real Jewish rye (with seeds), challah, or bagels. If you want to eat the poison called Wonderbread, or Stroehmans be my guest, but this LSF will resist the buy-one-get-one deals on packaged bread and, if you find a coupon for this shit, you needn't give me a heads up. Coupons are another source of irritation for me and I may speak to this at a later date. For now, just let me point something out about coupons. Has anyone ever seen a coupon for something that is good for you? No, really. I have never seen a coupon for tomatoes or veggies, or fruit, but I have seen a gazillion coupons for salt snacks, cookies, ice cream and even the colored sugar water called Hugs. Hugs will guarantee a lifetime of obesity and diabetes for you and your kids, but what a deal!
So, after the pride of the Athletics left last night, I saw a Dairy Queen commercial. Since it was about the time of night that my thoughts had turned to wanting to eat everything as a result of a severe case of the munchies, the commercial caught my eye. The commercial tried to tell me that DQ made the best milkshakes in the world according to a consumer panel who had taste tested the DQ product against others. Duh! The others must have included McDonalds and Burger King because they obviously didn't give the panel an old fashioned shake.
If you want the joy of a milkshake, you need to find a place that makes the thing from scratch and who does not pour some shit out of a carton into a fucking machine. You need to find a place that makes its shakes in a metal container hooked up to an Oster shake mixer. You need to find a place that uses thick syrup, several scoops of good ice cream and real milk, not some soy shit imitation. You need to find a place that knows exactly how long the shake should be mixed and then serves it to you with both a straw and a spoon. You want to hear the sound that the mixer blades make against the container when that same container is being removed from the mixer. Dairy Queen does not cut it gang, but if you believe the commercial and agree on the quality of their product I'll meet you somewhere and take you shopping for a polyester suit, dacron socks, and a nylon sport shirt made somewhere other than in the USA. If you are the type who consumes DQ shakes, McDonalds anything, or has it your way at Burger King, I know how much you like clothes made from petroleum, but I have bad news - Today's Man and Krass Bros. are not coming back! Deal with it. I don't want you to think that I am a purist by any means since I have over the years consumed my fair share of Dairy Queen cones dipped in either chocolate or jimmies, but don't tell me that they make the best shakes in the world because that insults my intelligence!
Have a great day!
Sunday, May 15, 2011
IT'S MY FAULT!!!
I won't apologize, but I'll accept the blame for the Phillies' abysmal performance in Atlanta the past two games. Hey look, when you need to claim a "my bad," just claim it and move on.
My last post was effusively praiseful of our home town boys. Hell I even spoke kindly of Superstar even though I gag when thinking how the press and the faithful make him out to be in the same league as guys like Willie, Mickey & the Duke. Just as soon as the long suffering fan takes his hat off to the Phillies they decide to put their offense in a coma again. What's that all about?
I wouldn't blame Roy Halladay if he came to the clubhouse and did the going postal thing on the team. What a headline it would make - "Halladay Sends Team To Hell With An Uzi." Sure, Uggla hurt him today, but so did the Phillies' bats. You can't expect to stay in the lead when you lose series to the teams that are chasing you. Maybe these guys aren't hungry enough or maybe they are just getting too old and too rich to have the fire in the belly like guys who haven't tasted the nectar of victory.
Remember, it's been three years now since the team won. The sun is setting on this team, so let's just let some of the younger guys like Mayberry, Brown, and Martinez get plenty of opportunities to show us what they can do.
The long suffering fan took the weekend off as far as watching the games. Sometimes, I need to taste other tidbits of life and this weekend was one of those times. I really had no need to see Bloe Janton get lit up wearing a Philadelphia Stars uniform. Instead, I went downtown to The Sound Of Market where I was able to score some nice music - music that I am listening to as I write tonight. "The Power Of Love" by The Intruders is playing now. The LSF is playing shit from the time he could wake up without anything hurting. Those of you who have earned the appellation "Oldhead" know what I am talking about. Those of you who are still a little damp around the ears will know of what I speak in a few years.
I only caught a couple of innings of today's retro-uniform game. I never did care for the Phillies' powder blue road uniforms, and the Braves retro-uniforms looked almost as silly today as they did when they wore them everyday. Imagine making Hank Aaron wear that uniform. The baseball gods couldn't have liked that. I turned it off after seeing Superstar going down on a called third strike. Whatever happened to "swingbattaswing?"
Enough of thinking and talking about the Phillies. They are still atop the division which is a whole lot better than where the Madoffs are at this point in the season.
Whoever schedules the games broadcast on FOX needs to be either beaten or shot. Seriously, isn't it about time that they show games other than the Yankees-Red Sox every time they play. I for one would actually enjoy seeing some other teams play, like perhaps the Tribe or the Reds. Hey FOX, we the people are sick and tired of the Yanks-Sox.
Next week (I think) begins interleague play. The LSF hates interleague play almost as much as he hates artificial turf, domed stadiums, metal bats, pitch counts, and the designated hitter. Because the Phillies have to play and probably get blown away by the Rangers they can't play as many games against other NL teams. I say more games against the NL West rather than looking bad against the AL. Hell, we know that we beat the Astros and the D-Backs most of the time, and we need those wins since we can no longer count on the Marlins and the Braves to lay down at the sight of the candystripes.
Well, the hour is getting late and the LSF needs his beauty rest so I'll sign off for now and listen to some David Ruffin before retiring. Have a great week!
My last post was effusively praiseful of our home town boys. Hell I even spoke kindly of Superstar even though I gag when thinking how the press and the faithful make him out to be in the same league as guys like Willie, Mickey & the Duke. Just as soon as the long suffering fan takes his hat off to the Phillies they decide to put their offense in a coma again. What's that all about?
I wouldn't blame Roy Halladay if he came to the clubhouse and did the going postal thing on the team. What a headline it would make - "Halladay Sends Team To Hell With An Uzi." Sure, Uggla hurt him today, but so did the Phillies' bats. You can't expect to stay in the lead when you lose series to the teams that are chasing you. Maybe these guys aren't hungry enough or maybe they are just getting too old and too rich to have the fire in the belly like guys who haven't tasted the nectar of victory.
Remember, it's been three years now since the team won. The sun is setting on this team, so let's just let some of the younger guys like Mayberry, Brown, and Martinez get plenty of opportunities to show us what they can do.
The long suffering fan took the weekend off as far as watching the games. Sometimes, I need to taste other tidbits of life and this weekend was one of those times. I really had no need to see Bloe Janton get lit up wearing a Philadelphia Stars uniform. Instead, I went downtown to The Sound Of Market where I was able to score some nice music - music that I am listening to as I write tonight. "The Power Of Love" by The Intruders is playing now. The LSF is playing shit from the time he could wake up without anything hurting. Those of you who have earned the appellation "Oldhead" know what I am talking about. Those of you who are still a little damp around the ears will know of what I speak in a few years.
I only caught a couple of innings of today's retro-uniform game. I never did care for the Phillies' powder blue road uniforms, and the Braves retro-uniforms looked almost as silly today as they did when they wore them everyday. Imagine making Hank Aaron wear that uniform. The baseball gods couldn't have liked that. I turned it off after seeing Superstar going down on a called third strike. Whatever happened to "swingbattaswing?"
Enough of thinking and talking about the Phillies. They are still atop the division which is a whole lot better than where the Madoffs are at this point in the season.
Whoever schedules the games broadcast on FOX needs to be either beaten or shot. Seriously, isn't it about time that they show games other than the Yankees-Red Sox every time they play. I for one would actually enjoy seeing some other teams play, like perhaps the Tribe or the Reds. Hey FOX, we the people are sick and tired of the Yanks-Sox.
Next week (I think) begins interleague play. The LSF hates interleague play almost as much as he hates artificial turf, domed stadiums, metal bats, pitch counts, and the designated hitter. Because the Phillies have to play and probably get blown away by the Rangers they can't play as many games against other NL teams. I say more games against the NL West rather than looking bad against the AL. Hell, we know that we beat the Astros and the D-Backs most of the time, and we need those wins since we can no longer count on the Marlins and the Braves to lay down at the sight of the candystripes.
Well, the hour is getting late and the LSF needs his beauty rest so I'll sign off for now and listen to some David Ruffin before retiring. Have a great week!
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