Monday, June 27, 2011

AND THE BEAT GOES ON!!!

OK. So last night I turned on Sunday night baseball while waiting for my ten PM date with Treme, which has now become one of my favorite shows of all time. The Indians were playing the defending champion Giants in the getaway game of a three game series, and were trying to avoid being swept by the Giants who are hitting nothing. You remember the Indians; they were the team that got out of the gate with baseball's best record at 20-10. They were the darlings of the April media who declared them the comeback story of the year.

Not so fast. The Tribe of late have been losing games with a vengeance and have now been replaced at the top of the AL Central by the Tigers who have of late been on a hitting tear. The game was still on when I switched to Treme, and I really don't know how the game ended. I mean, do you blame me? If given a choice would you watch a baseball game not involving your team or Khandi Alexander?

It doesn't really matter who won the game; what matters is that the Tribe is now doing what pretenders do all the time - they are now showing themselves to be Emperors without clothes. In my opinion the Indians have shot their 2011 load and will end up somewhere in the middle of the pack.

Now, let's talk about the Phillies. Yes, we have to unless we collectively move to a dreadful place where we can root for the Astro's or the D-Backs.

On Friday night I settled in for game one of the A's-Phillies series. The A's are not a good baseball team and I figured that perhaps the Phillies could manage some offense against them. I figured wrong. Watching the first eight innings was worse than watching paint dry. I know something about watching paint dry since I am in the middle of having my place painted. Watching the eggshell color dry in my living room is more exciting than the product described by Wheels and T-Mac. The amazing thing about Friday night's game wasn't that the Phillies managed to win 1-0, but that I watched the whole fucking game. The game was so boring I kept wanting to see the Phanatic hit by a foul ball like he had been in Allentown. The prospect of seeing him carried from the field on a stretcher was one reason I kept watching. Think about it. The Phanatic may be something that amuses five year olds, but I have had "him" doing his thing in front of my face - keeping me from being able to watch a game that I have paid a King's ransom to watch. On a hot summer day this guy's funk is worse than someone who hasn't bathed in a while sitting next to you on the el. It's time for the Phanatic to retire or be shot - his choice.

I didn't see any of Saturday's loss. I was attending a birthday barbeque at the lady friend's cousin's house. From the written accounts of the game and from what my editor tells me, I was more than glad that I hadn't seen Victorino's mental lapse on defense which led to the A's scoring what was to be the winning run, nor did I get to experience the joy of watching Domonic Brown jog to first on a grounder. Charlie spoke to each of his miscreant players after the game, and I sure would have loved to have been the fly on the wall for those conversations. When I think about it, Brown is not the only Phillie I have seen lately not hustling to first base. Howard stops what he calls running about halfway down the line when he hits a ground ball as does Ibanez and others. There is no excuse for that - no matter what.

Yesterday, I settled in to watch Doc and I was not disappointed. The guy is the best in the game, and somehow the Phillies managed to score three runs on ten hits giving Doc his tenth and the Phillies the series. The idiots in the booth made a big deal about Doc recording his 63rd career complete game. Duh. That would be about two seasons of complete games for Lefty or Robbie. I suppose in today's game 63 is a big number, but I am not impressed.

So now the Phillies await Terry Francona and his Boston Red Sox. You may have noticed that the Sox, after a horrible start, have the third best record in baseball and have been hitting the ball all over the place. Yes, they were almost swept by my beloved Pirates, but they won the getaway game and arrive at the Bank Tuesday looking to bitch slap the candystripers.

Sadly, it looks like Phillie fan favorite J.D. Drew will not play. There is something wrong with his eyes. Fuck the eyes - get up there and take the fans' hatred like a man.

On Tuesday Josh Beckett is scheduled to go against the Phillies. My question is - will any of the home town heroes be able to get on base? Will Superstar swing at pitches three feet outside the strike zone? Will the game hang on Wilson Valdez's ability to get a pinch hit in the 9th.? Will Cliff Lee pitch a no hitter and drive in the winning run? Wow, so much to think about. Somehow our guys better find a way to score some runs. If they don't, well then I will have a lot of good shit to write about.

The best play I saw all weekend was in last night's Giants-Indians game. Bill Hall was on third when Giants manager Bruce Bochy called for a suicide squeeze play. It might have worked except for the fact that Ross Bumgarner didn't attempt to bunt the ball, rather choosing to swing away. Hall was lucky that Bumgarner didn't hit the ball because he could have killed the streaking Hall who when he saw that there was no bunt threw his hands up to protect his face from a possible line drive to the head. Hall was of course tagged out, but the look of panic and terror on his face was priceless. I enjoyed watching that fuck up.

It looks like we are scheduled to have a great weather day here in the greatest city in the world, so get outside if you can. If the boss won't let you out to play, then post stories that the guy has a thing for children. It may not be true, but that would not be different from 99% of what people post on Facebook or other such social sites.

Have a great day.

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