The long suffering fan has had two bad days in a row. It isn't funny so stop laughing. Yesterday AM I got stuck in an elevator in my building with a person who turned out to be claustrophobic. I live in an old building and the elevators can only hold 2 maybe 3 people comfortably. Being old, from time to time they just stop, not caring whether or not they have reached the desired floor or not. The solution when that happens is simple. You take out your cell phone, call the building manager, explain what is going on - and he goes to the roof, does whatever he does and the car starts moving again. So I made the call, and knew that in about 2 or 3 minutes my trip would resume. The problem was that I was riding with a rather large and malodorous woman, who almost as soon as we stopped started having a rather nice panic attack. If the bitch hadn't grabbed me while screaming I would have enjoyed her attack, but it was annoying to have this fat lady holding on to me while screaming for Jesus to save us. It was more than the long suffering fan could handle so I pushed her away telling her that Bob, not Jesus was going to take care of the problem. She didn't like that and turned her panic attack on me. Now this woman spends her time handing out The Watchtower magazine at the 69th St terminal so I had to endure being told of all the terrible things that were going to befall me in the next life because I was a non-believer. All I could do is wonder what I had done to deserve being stuck in the elevator with this whacked out lady. Why couldn't she have been Rasheeda, the new smoking hot resident of the 4th floor. Rasheeda is so hot that the fire department has to follow her around so she doesn't cause spontaneous combustion, and I get stuck with Lady Lardass. Perhaps you are starting to understand why yesterday was not the best of days.
Making matters worse was that the biggest sports news of the day was about the goalie the Flyers were trying to unload. Why would I care about that? I have said many times that I can't watch a sport where every night they don't play a fourth quarter. This is a sport that thinks it cool to play hockey outdoors in the middle of the fucking winter in cold weather cities. What's with that? And how crazy do you have to be to pay money to freeze your ass off to watch a stupid, inane and idiotic game. Somebody needs to explain to Gary Bettman that real games come in either quarters or halves. Your game has to be divisible by 2 - and three doesn't cut it.
So I finally get rescued by Bob, not Jesus and I go into my apartment to read my e-mails. What do I find but an e-mail from Scott. Scott sends me an article from the NPR site concerning the illegal alien problem Israeli is having with people from Africa sneaking in to the holy land. I'm not making this up. Why is my only son sending me anything from the commie pinko tree hugging NPR people, let alone an article telling me that the Israelis (Jews) are having yet another problem with svartzas. (Svartza is the yiddish word for black people - formerly called negroes.) Apparantly the juden are freaked out about this, but not because of what you might think.
Here is the real problem. As you know, when blacks move in, the Jews move out as quickly as they can. (examples: W.Philly, Olney, etc) The Israelis have a major problem because they are surrounded on three sides by Arabs who don't care for them, and on the other side by the Med. They have nowhere like Lower Merion or Elkins Park to run to. This fact tells me that they will have to find a way to deal with seeing their sons with sisters and their daughters pushing baby strollers with mixed babies.
There are positives of course to this situation. By embracing these new settlers the Israeli music scene will improve greatly - I mean how much klezmer music and horas should one have to listen to? I suspect that Israeli sports teams will also become more competitive with the inclusion of these new members of their society.
This is supposed to be a sports blog so I'll mention that Fat Andrew's men are scheduled to play Green Bay in the wild card round of the playoffs. I like the Packers, but I'll try to amplify my reasons in a later blog.
Also on the sports scene Roberto Alomar and Bert Blyleven were elected to the Hall Of Fame. (Stop yawning - I'm not done. If you don't stop I'll ask Roberto to spit on you like he did to an umpire.)
In a sports related story it seems that no matter how low Lenny Dykstra sinks he finds a way to go lower. It was reported that our former hero Nails Dykstra bounced a check to one Monica Foster. Dykstra had hired the lady as an escort - you know just to talk and have drinks with. If you believe that, I have a bridge that I can let you have for a real good price. Foster has starred in several porno films including one called "Flava of Lost", and in a spoof of the Cosby Show which advertised 8 hours of inter-racial sex.
I saw a picture of Miss Foster's derriere, and I must tell you - this sister is the real deal. (Lenny's poor mother) She has posted that not only did Lenny's check bounce but she saw him snorting an unknown white powder. Say it ain't so dude! Lenny's attorney issued a statement that Lenny was unavailable for comment.
I'll close by reminding you that I've had two bad days in a row. Today's bad day can be described by just saying the following. John Boehner, Speaker of the House. Arrrgh - the dark ages are back!
Wednesday, January 5, 2011
Saturday, January 1, 2011
43 DAYS AND COUNTING
Despite falling apart against the eventual world champion Giants, 2010 has to be considered a successful season for Charlie Manuel's charges. Given the many injuries and the relatively poor offensive performance, Charlie was able to lead the Phillies to 97 victories and another post season appearance. Now with 2010 all but over and with pitchers and catchers scheduled to report in 43 days I thought it would a good time to talk about the prospects for the '11 season.
We have become accustomed to the Phillies being able to put up runs in bunches which made last year so hard to deal with. The team is aging and has had to deal with injuries to many of the key players. This season it will be about pitching, and you have to adore the starting rotation. I have no idea how the 2011 edition of the Phillies will perform, and I won't be drinking red kool-aid anytime soon - even though they have to be the favorites to win the NL going in to the season. You will be able to read in many mags and listen to many pundits predict the candystripers season so I thought I would warm up the Wayback Machine and take a trip to North Philadelphia setting the controls for Dec. 31, 1910. Come along for the ride and listen in as I interview A's manager Connie Mack about his teams chance for the upcoming '11 season.
Sorry for the turbulance, but at last we appear at the Broad Street Station and can go streetside to meet the driver that Mr. Mack has arranged to take us to his office at Shibe Park. Given that we had landed on a gray chilly day and that our car did not have windows, the ride north to Lehigh Avenue was not a pleasant one, but I was anxious to see the ballpark which had opened on Easter Sunday just two years ago in 1909. My driver was a pro and was able to negotiate the trip in about 20 minutes. Broad Street is a magnificent thouroughfare - tree lined and home to many mansions occupied by the movers and shakers of this booming industrial giant of a city. When the driver made the left turn onto 21st St, I got goosebumps knowing that I was just moments away from interviewing the man behind the team some were calling the best team of the day.
Here we are! Wow, even in the gray of winter the park looks awesome. We entered through the turreted main gate and I was escorted to Mr. Mack's second floor office by a security guard wearing a service medal from the Spanish-American War. I wonder if he had been at San Juan Hill.
When I walked into Mr. Macks office I saw a decor that seemed to come right out of Antiques Roadshow. The Keno brothers would be all over his Victorian desk, and would absolutely pass out at the sight of Mack's rolltop desk tucked in a corner. This is where he sat when he needed to get some real work done. Mack was a tall lanky man wearing a three buttoned pin stripe suit, a beautiful shirt with the detachable collar. He graciously offered me a seat, and after the obligatory questions about my trip we got down to basics.
LSF: Thank you for seeing me on such short notice. I know you are busy getting ready for the upcoming season.
Mack: Your welcome young man....now who did you say you wrote for?
LSF: Well, I am sort of an independent writer looking for a story about your champion A's.
Mack: We are indeed the defending world champions.
LSF: Last season your team won 102 games and beat the Cubs 4-1 in the series. Can your 1911 edition top that.
Mack: The core of last years team is back, so I am confident that we will be competitive. Young man, the game is about pitching and I'll put my staff against any. I've got Coombs coming back and you know he won 30 last year. Chief Bender is back coming off a 23 win season, and don't forget Eddie Plank who I think can be as good as anyone.
LSF: 102 is a lot of wins to try and duplicate - you'll need some hitting to go along with your stellar pitching.
Mack: We're gonna have a real good line-up, not too different from last year's. I have Frank Baker playing third, and with his power he might be able to hit 10 or more home runs. The college boy, Eddie Collins - he went to Columbia, has 2nd base covered, and even though the other guys think he is an overeducated snob, he'll do just fine. Stuffy McGinnis is one of the best 1st baseman in the league, and Jack Barry patrols SS as well as anyone, including that guy from the Cubs. We'll hit the ball well, and I expect big things from my outfield trio of Lord, Murphy, and Oldring. We've got two decent catchers in Ira Thomas and Jack Lapp, and my son Earle could provide decent play from the bench.
LSF: Given your success last year won't other teams be gunning for you - making it that much harder to repeat?
Mack: I'll take my chances with a team that beat the Cubs. They did all the talking about how good they were last year, and my boys beat the snot out of them. I worry about that gang from Detroit and Mr. Cobb, however. He is the meanest nastiest guy on the planet, and he likes to hurt opposing players when he slides into a base. Collins will have to be alert because he will be a target of Cobb's. Boston has a decent team with a good young left-hander -- what's his name, oh yes, Ruth. He'll be tough, and he isn't an automatic out when he bats. The New Yorkers aren't quite ready for prime time, and the Browns, White Sox, and Indians should be easy for our boys to beat. We may not win 102 this year, but I like our chances.
LSF: The ballpark is awesome, and has to be a big improvement over Recreation Park.
Mack: Yes it is, would you like a tour?
LSF: Please.
We walked down a flight of steps and soon were on the field. Though the grass was brown and the bases had been removed for the off-season I was impressed. Mack had spared no expense in building Shibe Park even though he could hardly afford this modern temple to the game. I was standing where home plate would be in a few months in what was then the grandest stadium of them all. Yankee Stadium wouldn't open for several years, and until it did this was the standard. As I looked around I saw the seats that many years later my father and I would sit in. (Always the third base side.) I have to admit that I was in awe of this palace and so many memories rushed at me from all sides. There out in center field I would watch a kid from Tilden Nebraska patrol his area with an aplomb he didn't get credit for. If a ball was hit hit to deep center (408) Whitey would more often than not get credit for a put-out. And looking out towards the 335 sign in left I could see Philly native Del Ennis making it look easy. So many memories.
Mack: Are you okay son, you look like you are in a trance.
LSF: I'm fine sir, I was just dreaming about the good times I am going to have in your ballpark when I am a kid.
Mack: What do you mean.
LSF: I thought you knew that I have traveled from the future to see you today. I came here on the Wayback Machine from 2010.
Mack: So, you know how this season turns out.
LSF: Yes sir, I do, but I'm not sure I'm supposed to tell you.
Mack: Well, maybe you could answer one question for me. Am I still the manager in 2010.
LSF: No sir, you are not, but your legend and accomplishments are still held in high esteem.
Mack: You aren't going to tell me about the '11 season are you?
LSF: I can't do that sir, but I'll leave you with this. The fans will have another year of great baseball here at Shibe Park. Mr. Mack, my time here is drawing to a close and I have to get back to my time, or I might get stuck here. I wouldn't want to stay here and end up in a trench somewhere in Europe in a few years. So let me thank you for your time and wish you a successful 1911 campaign.
Mack: Thanks for coming young man, I'll have my driver take you to your Wayback train, but if you want he'll stop at the Automat on the way.
They serve a great cup of coffee at the Automat, and a cup only costs a nickle.
LSF: I'll take a raincheck on the Automat, and thanks again for your time.
There is always Wayback lag when I travel back to our time, but before I take a well deserved nap I'll tell you what I wasn't allowed to tell Mr. Mack. His 1911 A's didn't equal their 102 wins of '10, but did come in with a record of 101-50 finishing 13 1/2 games over the second place Tigers.
Jack Coombs fell three short of his 1910 win totals but managed to bring home 28 victories. Bender had an off year only winning 17, but Eddie Plank won 23. These guys could pitch.
Home Run Baker managed to hit 11 home runs on top of hitting .334. College boy Eddie Collins came in at .365 and a .451 OBP, with McGinnis, Lord, Murphy, and catcher Jack Lapp all hitting well north of .300. The team batting average was a very lusty .296, a number unheard of in this era where .265 is considered a good year.
In the 1911 series, the A's dispatched the John McGraw-led NY Giants four games to two, including two wins over Christie Mathewson. Yessir, our home town heroes brought home the championship flag for the second year in a row. Maybe our current heroes can do it again. The Wayback machine only goes back in time so we'll have to tune in when the candystripers take the field on April 1 against the Houston Astros.
I hope you've enjoyed the trip back and that you will all have a happy and healthy new year. (Now about right field!)
We have become accustomed to the Phillies being able to put up runs in bunches which made last year so hard to deal with. The team is aging and has had to deal with injuries to many of the key players. This season it will be about pitching, and you have to adore the starting rotation. I have no idea how the 2011 edition of the Phillies will perform, and I won't be drinking red kool-aid anytime soon - even though they have to be the favorites to win the NL going in to the season. You will be able to read in many mags and listen to many pundits predict the candystripers season so I thought I would warm up the Wayback Machine and take a trip to North Philadelphia setting the controls for Dec. 31, 1910. Come along for the ride and listen in as I interview A's manager Connie Mack about his teams chance for the upcoming '11 season.
Sorry for the turbulance, but at last we appear at the Broad Street Station and can go streetside to meet the driver that Mr. Mack has arranged to take us to his office at Shibe Park. Given that we had landed on a gray chilly day and that our car did not have windows, the ride north to Lehigh Avenue was not a pleasant one, but I was anxious to see the ballpark which had opened on Easter Sunday just two years ago in 1909. My driver was a pro and was able to negotiate the trip in about 20 minutes. Broad Street is a magnificent thouroughfare - tree lined and home to many mansions occupied by the movers and shakers of this booming industrial giant of a city. When the driver made the left turn onto 21st St, I got goosebumps knowing that I was just moments away from interviewing the man behind the team some were calling the best team of the day.
Here we are! Wow, even in the gray of winter the park looks awesome. We entered through the turreted main gate and I was escorted to Mr. Mack's second floor office by a security guard wearing a service medal from the Spanish-American War. I wonder if he had been at San Juan Hill.
When I walked into Mr. Macks office I saw a decor that seemed to come right out of Antiques Roadshow. The Keno brothers would be all over his Victorian desk, and would absolutely pass out at the sight of Mack's rolltop desk tucked in a corner. This is where he sat when he needed to get some real work done. Mack was a tall lanky man wearing a three buttoned pin stripe suit, a beautiful shirt with the detachable collar. He graciously offered me a seat, and after the obligatory questions about my trip we got down to basics.
LSF: Thank you for seeing me on such short notice. I know you are busy getting ready for the upcoming season.
Mack: Your welcome young man....now who did you say you wrote for?
LSF: Well, I am sort of an independent writer looking for a story about your champion A's.
Mack: We are indeed the defending world champions.
LSF: Last season your team won 102 games and beat the Cubs 4-1 in the series. Can your 1911 edition top that.
Mack: The core of last years team is back, so I am confident that we will be competitive. Young man, the game is about pitching and I'll put my staff against any. I've got Coombs coming back and you know he won 30 last year. Chief Bender is back coming off a 23 win season, and don't forget Eddie Plank who I think can be as good as anyone.
LSF: 102 is a lot of wins to try and duplicate - you'll need some hitting to go along with your stellar pitching.
Mack: We're gonna have a real good line-up, not too different from last year's. I have Frank Baker playing third, and with his power he might be able to hit 10 or more home runs. The college boy, Eddie Collins - he went to Columbia, has 2nd base covered, and even though the other guys think he is an overeducated snob, he'll do just fine. Stuffy McGinnis is one of the best 1st baseman in the league, and Jack Barry patrols SS as well as anyone, including that guy from the Cubs. We'll hit the ball well, and I expect big things from my outfield trio of Lord, Murphy, and Oldring. We've got two decent catchers in Ira Thomas and Jack Lapp, and my son Earle could provide decent play from the bench.
LSF: Given your success last year won't other teams be gunning for you - making it that much harder to repeat?
Mack: I'll take my chances with a team that beat the Cubs. They did all the talking about how good they were last year, and my boys beat the snot out of them. I worry about that gang from Detroit and Mr. Cobb, however. He is the meanest nastiest guy on the planet, and he likes to hurt opposing players when he slides into a base. Collins will have to be alert because he will be a target of Cobb's. Boston has a decent team with a good young left-hander -- what's his name, oh yes, Ruth. He'll be tough, and he isn't an automatic out when he bats. The New Yorkers aren't quite ready for prime time, and the Browns, White Sox, and Indians should be easy for our boys to beat. We may not win 102 this year, but I like our chances.
LSF: The ballpark is awesome, and has to be a big improvement over Recreation Park.
Mack: Yes it is, would you like a tour?
LSF: Please.
We walked down a flight of steps and soon were on the field. Though the grass was brown and the bases had been removed for the off-season I was impressed. Mack had spared no expense in building Shibe Park even though he could hardly afford this modern temple to the game. I was standing where home plate would be in a few months in what was then the grandest stadium of them all. Yankee Stadium wouldn't open for several years, and until it did this was the standard. As I looked around I saw the seats that many years later my father and I would sit in. (Always the third base side.) I have to admit that I was in awe of this palace and so many memories rushed at me from all sides. There out in center field I would watch a kid from Tilden Nebraska patrol his area with an aplomb he didn't get credit for. If a ball was hit hit to deep center (408) Whitey would more often than not get credit for a put-out. And looking out towards the 335 sign in left I could see Philly native Del Ennis making it look easy. So many memories.
Mack: Are you okay son, you look like you are in a trance.
LSF: I'm fine sir, I was just dreaming about the good times I am going to have in your ballpark when I am a kid.
Mack: What do you mean.
LSF: I thought you knew that I have traveled from the future to see you today. I came here on the Wayback Machine from 2010.
Mack: So, you know how this season turns out.
LSF: Yes sir, I do, but I'm not sure I'm supposed to tell you.
Mack: Well, maybe you could answer one question for me. Am I still the manager in 2010.
LSF: No sir, you are not, but your legend and accomplishments are still held in high esteem.
Mack: You aren't going to tell me about the '11 season are you?
LSF: I can't do that sir, but I'll leave you with this. The fans will have another year of great baseball here at Shibe Park. Mr. Mack, my time here is drawing to a close and I have to get back to my time, or I might get stuck here. I wouldn't want to stay here and end up in a trench somewhere in Europe in a few years. So let me thank you for your time and wish you a successful 1911 campaign.
Mack: Thanks for coming young man, I'll have my driver take you to your Wayback train, but if you want he'll stop at the Automat on the way.
They serve a great cup of coffee at the Automat, and a cup only costs a nickle.
LSF: I'll take a raincheck on the Automat, and thanks again for your time.
There is always Wayback lag when I travel back to our time, but before I take a well deserved nap I'll tell you what I wasn't allowed to tell Mr. Mack. His 1911 A's didn't equal their 102 wins of '10, but did come in with a record of 101-50 finishing 13 1/2 games over the second place Tigers.
Jack Coombs fell three short of his 1910 win totals but managed to bring home 28 victories. Bender had an off year only winning 17, but Eddie Plank won 23. These guys could pitch.
Home Run Baker managed to hit 11 home runs on top of hitting .334. College boy Eddie Collins came in at .365 and a .451 OBP, with McGinnis, Lord, Murphy, and catcher Jack Lapp all hitting well north of .300. The team batting average was a very lusty .296, a number unheard of in this era where .265 is considered a good year.
In the 1911 series, the A's dispatched the John McGraw-led NY Giants four games to two, including two wins over Christie Mathewson. Yessir, our home town heroes brought home the championship flag for the second year in a row. Maybe our current heroes can do it again. The Wayback machine only goes back in time so we'll have to tune in when the candystripers take the field on April 1 against the Houston Astros.
I hope you've enjoyed the trip back and that you will all have a happy and healthy new year. (Now about right field!)
Wednesday, December 29, 2010
THE WUSSIES WERE IN THE HOUSE!!!!!
Governor Fast Eddie decried the postponment of the Eagles - Vikings game because of a few snowflakes stating that we have become a nation of wussies. The Gov, who was in the house last night had plenty of wussies to observe - and they were wearing midnight green.
In his postgame presser, head coach Fat Andrew was able to use his favorite cliches stating that the effort tonight was pathetic and that we have to do better. The man has amazing insights doesn't he? His team played as if no effort would be required to send the Vikings back to Minnesota, and the Vikings made the big green machine look like a car stuck in a mound of snow at the side of the road.
Michael Vick who had earlier been named as the NFC starting QB in the pro-bowl turned in a hauntingly McNabbesque performance, while his O line blocked virtually nobody allowing the going-nowhere Vikings defense to sack Vick 6 times while hitting him on almost every play. Vick's passing accuracy which had improved ten-fold this year left him last night as he threw the ball to Viking defenders as often as he hit his own men. And where was Jackson? Well he was a no show, so maybe he'll keep his mouth shut today.
This was a game the Eagles needed to win. This was a game that, if won, would have kept alive the possibility of a play-off bye. Instead, this was the game that all but insured an early exit from the playoffs by our hometown heroes. The Vikings, subject to all sorts of drama and disappointment this season and led by a guy nobody in the world had ever heard of showed up and played the game. The big green wussies left their hearts somewhere and in my opinion should have lost by more than ten points. Yes Andrew, you and your charges have to do better. Let's see what they do this week against the hated Cowboys. The long suffering fan no longer bets (It didn't take me long to realize that I couldn't do it well.) but if I did, I would place my dead presidents on the Cowboys.
I didn't watch the last quarter because I was fed up and knew that there would be no last minute miracle like we saw the week before against the Jints. I was tired of hearing Collingsworth tell me that the Eagles have the ability to mount a comeback. Collingsworth didn't even believe what he was saying, but I suppose his bosses told him to keep the fires of hope burning so that people like me would not pick up their remotes and leave the wussies to their own misery. The long suffering fan watched "True Romance" which is always a treat, especially the scene where Christopher Walken visits Dennis Hopper. If you haven't seen this Tarentino-written film you ought to check it out, especially if violence is entertaining to you.
It wasn't just the poor play by the Eagles that pissed me off last night. I could have dealt with that. Some of my least favorite commercials were shown repeatedly - making me wishing that I could hurt whoever dreamed them up. Funny, but the worst offenders were all car commercials.
First on my list is the one where a snotty kid and his father are shopping for a guitar. The father who appears to be the guy with the credit card holds up a guitar and tells the brat that the one in his hand is as good as the one the kid really wants. The kid who has a girls haircut and an obnoxious tablecloth looking shirt says in a nasty tone, "No it isn't." Instead of the switching to the guy in the BMW store the commercial would have had a happy ending if the father would have beaten the kid.
The next most offensive commercial is the National Car Rental spot where the business woman tells me that she is getting an "upgrade" The way she says that word tells me that she too deserves a beating. "Nana na na I'm getting an upgrade," just presses my buttons. A happy ending to that ad would have the bitch pulling out of the parking lot and getting whacked by an 18 wheeler.
Lexus has a commercial out there that makes no sense and is stupid to boot. You know the one where the wife is dragging her sleepy husband into their living room to show him the new red Lexus she is giving him for Xmas. How did the car get into the living room without the guy knowing. Did she drug him? Stupidity reigns supreme.
Lastly I want to clear up a matter from my last posting. Ed Romero was a journeyman MLBer who had a 12 year career with the Brewers, Red Sox, and the Tigers. As a career part time player he hit .247 with 8 HR's and last played in 1990. I meant to post that Ruben had signed J.C. Romero, but somehow gave up Ed Romero. One can only hope that J.C. performs better than he has in recent outings - since even with our starting staff Charlie will have the need for a left-hander out of the pen.
When I hear the name J.C. I immediately think of a dog of the same name that my parents had. This dog ate better than anyone you know, never being given dog food. The dog ate corned beef, lox, and whatever else my parents were having. The dog, a miniature spitz, must have weighed 200 pounds when she went to doggie heaven. The dog loved $12.00 a pound veal. So much for all the starving people in the world.
That's it for today, except to remind everyone that Jos. A Bank is having their second sale of the week. You betcha! Buy any suit and get 2 for free! You have to love it.
In his postgame presser, head coach Fat Andrew was able to use his favorite cliches stating that the effort tonight was pathetic and that we have to do better. The man has amazing insights doesn't he? His team played as if no effort would be required to send the Vikings back to Minnesota, and the Vikings made the big green machine look like a car stuck in a mound of snow at the side of the road.
Michael Vick who had earlier been named as the NFC starting QB in the pro-bowl turned in a hauntingly McNabbesque performance, while his O line blocked virtually nobody allowing the going-nowhere Vikings defense to sack Vick 6 times while hitting him on almost every play. Vick's passing accuracy which had improved ten-fold this year left him last night as he threw the ball to Viking defenders as often as he hit his own men. And where was Jackson? Well he was a no show, so maybe he'll keep his mouth shut today.
This was a game the Eagles needed to win. This was a game that, if won, would have kept alive the possibility of a play-off bye. Instead, this was the game that all but insured an early exit from the playoffs by our hometown heroes. The Vikings, subject to all sorts of drama and disappointment this season and led by a guy nobody in the world had ever heard of showed up and played the game. The big green wussies left their hearts somewhere and in my opinion should have lost by more than ten points. Yes Andrew, you and your charges have to do better. Let's see what they do this week against the hated Cowboys. The long suffering fan no longer bets (It didn't take me long to realize that I couldn't do it well.) but if I did, I would place my dead presidents on the Cowboys.
I didn't watch the last quarter because I was fed up and knew that there would be no last minute miracle like we saw the week before against the Jints. I was tired of hearing Collingsworth tell me that the Eagles have the ability to mount a comeback. Collingsworth didn't even believe what he was saying, but I suppose his bosses told him to keep the fires of hope burning so that people like me would not pick up their remotes and leave the wussies to their own misery. The long suffering fan watched "True Romance" which is always a treat, especially the scene where Christopher Walken visits Dennis Hopper. If you haven't seen this Tarentino-written film you ought to check it out, especially if violence is entertaining to you.
It wasn't just the poor play by the Eagles that pissed me off last night. I could have dealt with that. Some of my least favorite commercials were shown repeatedly - making me wishing that I could hurt whoever dreamed them up. Funny, but the worst offenders were all car commercials.
First on my list is the one where a snotty kid and his father are shopping for a guitar. The father who appears to be the guy with the credit card holds up a guitar and tells the brat that the one in his hand is as good as the one the kid really wants. The kid who has a girls haircut and an obnoxious tablecloth looking shirt says in a nasty tone, "No it isn't." Instead of the switching to the guy in the BMW store the commercial would have had a happy ending if the father would have beaten the kid.
The next most offensive commercial is the National Car Rental spot where the business woman tells me that she is getting an "upgrade" The way she says that word tells me that she too deserves a beating. "Nana na na I'm getting an upgrade," just presses my buttons. A happy ending to that ad would have the bitch pulling out of the parking lot and getting whacked by an 18 wheeler.
Lexus has a commercial out there that makes no sense and is stupid to boot. You know the one where the wife is dragging her sleepy husband into their living room to show him the new red Lexus she is giving him for Xmas. How did the car get into the living room without the guy knowing. Did she drug him? Stupidity reigns supreme.
Lastly I want to clear up a matter from my last posting. Ed Romero was a journeyman MLBer who had a 12 year career with the Brewers, Red Sox, and the Tigers. As a career part time player he hit .247 with 8 HR's and last played in 1990. I meant to post that Ruben had signed J.C. Romero, but somehow gave up Ed Romero. One can only hope that J.C. performs better than he has in recent outings - since even with our starting staff Charlie will have the need for a left-hander out of the pen.
When I hear the name J.C. I immediately think of a dog of the same name that my parents had. This dog ate better than anyone you know, never being given dog food. The dog ate corned beef, lox, and whatever else my parents were having. The dog, a miniature spitz, must have weighed 200 pounds when she went to doggie heaven. The dog loved $12.00 a pound veal. So much for all the starving people in the world.
That's it for today, except to remind everyone that Jos. A Bank is having their second sale of the week. You betcha! Buy any suit and get 2 for free! You have to love it.
Monday, December 27, 2010
PLAYOFF IMPLICATIONS!!!
I trust you all had a very Merry hauling in piles of gifts and good cheer. But now the jolly fat guy is wherever he goes to rid himself of the aromas of reindeer farts and we have some issues to discuss.
Actually, the real jolly fat fellow is at the Novacare Center counting his blessings. Yesterday, due to a loss by the NY Football Giants (why the sporting press still refers to them as the football Giants has me confused. Back when there were baseball Giants it made sense, but as you know there hasn't been a baseball Giants team in NYC since 1957. I guess some things just die hard.) propelled Fat Andrews team to another NFC East Crown.
In this season of gift giving NY was the gift that just kept on giving. What a day yesterday was - both the Giants and Jets went down to defeat. For those of us like the long suffering fan that's about as good as it gets. NYC is a great city which is made that much greater when its teams suffer the fate usually reserved for cities like Phoenix and Buffalo. The gift of seeing the various looks of contempt on Tom Coughlin's face will be a keeper for me. The man looked like he had been suffering from terminal constipation combined with some anger issues. It was great to see. Rex Ryan, whose team got into the playoffs even though they lost yesterday, parading the sidelines desparately wanting the game to be over so he could catch a flight home so he could cuddle with his wife's feet (Whatever works for you).
There is an expression used by every broadcaster of NFL games that I can no longer tolerate. Playoff implications is the expression and it should be outlawed. In every booth and postgame set some moron who happened to have played the game speaks to what has to happen for the Decateur Staleys to make their first playoff in 76 years. They have their charts and logos and are quick to point out that if so and so does this and such and such does that, then so and so will win the division knocking out the other guy. Then one their colleagues breaks in to inform us that the Pussycats faced this same scenario back in '97 when Joe Brainless was able to overcome 7 concussions to lead the team into the playoffs.
I love when the obligatory bimbette sideline reporter corners the star neanderthal of the game to ask him about the playoff implications of his teams 4th quarter comeback in todays victory. The stock answer of course is the same throughout the league - "I want to thank God and my teamates, and we will come out next week and try to win." The bimbette asks her questions as if she were interviewing somebody important about something that matters - you know like why do you insist on paying for unemployment benefits, but not the tax breaks for Jeff Laurie. I'd feel a lot better about these sideline mavens if they dealt with important shit like asking if the neanderthal is aware that his team didn't cover the spread and that as a result a bunch of fans may now have their kneecaps damaged by a guy named Vinnie who collects for a guy named Sal.
It can no longer be said that the NFL doesn't care about the fans. The league didn't want the fans to get stuck in a blizzard so they postponed yesterdays Eagles game until Tuesday night. That was the reason they gave for the postponement, but I say not so fast. The game was moved to Tuesday so as not to interfere with the Monday night game. They tried that last week when the roof collapsed in Minnesota and the networks went wild. Now NBC and ESPN each get their own night and everybody makes the money they were planning on. Roger Goddell could care less about fans getting stuck in parking lots - he cares about the dead presidents the league extorts from the networks.
To me, the postponement stinks. Playing football in the snow used to be the norm, and I agree with Ed Rendell who said he was disappointed as he was hoping to watch an old-fashioned football game. If the 1948 championship game could be played in a blizzard here in Philly (a game won by the Eagles) then they could have played here yesterday. Governor, I want old fashioned football back again, including being able to hit people the old fashioned way. And to hell with the fans who would have gotten stuck. If you are dumb enough to leave the warmth of your home with its flat screen 82" TV then you deserve to freeze to death in a parking lot. We all have been given "free will" and if you choose to use it stupidly, then take the consequences like a man.
There is some baseball news to report of local interest. The Phillies are about to sign LH Ed Romero to a one year deal. This is the same Romero who couldn't get the job done last year, and who managed to walk more batters than he struck out - not considered a good thing if you are a set-up guy.
It isn't too early to start thinking about Valentines Day 2011. I'm not talking about getting the lady another gift (they love jewelry), I am of course referring to the day pitchers and catchers report which this year coincides with another big day for companies like Hallmark and Godiva. Looking outside at the white shit makes me long for Feb. 14 so maybe I'll tune in to MLB and dream about what might happen to the visiting Astros when the face 3 out 4 of our aces during the first series of the season. Just thinking about Brett Myers & company playing the candystrippers is keeping me warm. Having the heat on is helping too - and I have no plans to go outside.
Enjoy the snow, and remember it isn't as bad as being a NY football fan!
Actually, the real jolly fat fellow is at the Novacare Center counting his blessings. Yesterday, due to a loss by the NY Football Giants (why the sporting press still refers to them as the football Giants has me confused. Back when there were baseball Giants it made sense, but as you know there hasn't been a baseball Giants team in NYC since 1957. I guess some things just die hard.) propelled Fat Andrews team to another NFC East Crown.
In this season of gift giving NY was the gift that just kept on giving. What a day yesterday was - both the Giants and Jets went down to defeat. For those of us like the long suffering fan that's about as good as it gets. NYC is a great city which is made that much greater when its teams suffer the fate usually reserved for cities like Phoenix and Buffalo. The gift of seeing the various looks of contempt on Tom Coughlin's face will be a keeper for me. The man looked like he had been suffering from terminal constipation combined with some anger issues. It was great to see. Rex Ryan, whose team got into the playoffs even though they lost yesterday, parading the sidelines desparately wanting the game to be over so he could catch a flight home so he could cuddle with his wife's feet (Whatever works for you).
There is an expression used by every broadcaster of NFL games that I can no longer tolerate. Playoff implications is the expression and it should be outlawed. In every booth and postgame set some moron who happened to have played the game speaks to what has to happen for the Decateur Staleys to make their first playoff in 76 years. They have their charts and logos and are quick to point out that if so and so does this and such and such does that, then so and so will win the division knocking out the other guy. Then one their colleagues breaks in to inform us that the Pussycats faced this same scenario back in '97 when Joe Brainless was able to overcome 7 concussions to lead the team into the playoffs.
I love when the obligatory bimbette sideline reporter corners the star neanderthal of the game to ask him about the playoff implications of his teams 4th quarter comeback in todays victory. The stock answer of course is the same throughout the league - "I want to thank God and my teamates, and we will come out next week and try to win." The bimbette asks her questions as if she were interviewing somebody important about something that matters - you know like why do you insist on paying for unemployment benefits, but not the tax breaks for Jeff Laurie. I'd feel a lot better about these sideline mavens if they dealt with important shit like asking if the neanderthal is aware that his team didn't cover the spread and that as a result a bunch of fans may now have their kneecaps damaged by a guy named Vinnie who collects for a guy named Sal.
It can no longer be said that the NFL doesn't care about the fans. The league didn't want the fans to get stuck in a blizzard so they postponed yesterdays Eagles game until Tuesday night. That was the reason they gave for the postponement, but I say not so fast. The game was moved to Tuesday so as not to interfere with the Monday night game. They tried that last week when the roof collapsed in Minnesota and the networks went wild. Now NBC and ESPN each get their own night and everybody makes the money they were planning on. Roger Goddell could care less about fans getting stuck in parking lots - he cares about the dead presidents the league extorts from the networks.
To me, the postponement stinks. Playing football in the snow used to be the norm, and I agree with Ed Rendell who said he was disappointed as he was hoping to watch an old-fashioned football game. If the 1948 championship game could be played in a blizzard here in Philly (a game won by the Eagles) then they could have played here yesterday. Governor, I want old fashioned football back again, including being able to hit people the old fashioned way. And to hell with the fans who would have gotten stuck. If you are dumb enough to leave the warmth of your home with its flat screen 82" TV then you deserve to freeze to death in a parking lot. We all have been given "free will" and if you choose to use it stupidly, then take the consequences like a man.
There is some baseball news to report of local interest. The Phillies are about to sign LH Ed Romero to a one year deal. This is the same Romero who couldn't get the job done last year, and who managed to walk more batters than he struck out - not considered a good thing if you are a set-up guy.
It isn't too early to start thinking about Valentines Day 2011. I'm not talking about getting the lady another gift (they love jewelry), I am of course referring to the day pitchers and catchers report which this year coincides with another big day for companies like Hallmark and Godiva. Looking outside at the white shit makes me long for Feb. 14 so maybe I'll tune in to MLB and dream about what might happen to the visiting Astros when the face 3 out 4 of our aces during the first series of the season. Just thinking about Brett Myers & company playing the candystrippers is keeping me warm. Having the heat on is helping too - and I have no plans to go outside.
Enjoy the snow, and remember it isn't as bad as being a NY football fan!
Friday, December 24, 2010
IT IS ALMOST OVER!!!!!!!
I started writing todays piece yesterday. About half way through I realized that I shouldn't be anywhere near a keyboard so I saved what I had written, planning to finish early today. So much for the best laid plans of mice, Republicans and men. They sometimes have to be changed to accomodate a crazed female who discovered that she had forgotten to buy a gift for her best girlfriend. Since she had to work today, my phone rang this morning at 7:00 Am. After being told that I would be going to the mall today - again, I made the mistake of suggesting that a pre-paid Visa card would do just fine. My suggestion elicited nothing but dead air. The dead air was followed by the lady giving me my marching orders - I was going to the mall to buy a gift for someone I like only a little bit, and I knew when I was getting ready that no matter what I picked out - it would be wrong. I knew that I would have to play the twenty question game, that would end poorly - for me. But being the nice guy that I am I made the trip. It wasn't as bad as yesterdays trip.
Thursday is normally my friends day off. We usually just chill out, relax, and have a nice day. Wednesday evening the lady called me to inform me that we would be spending her day off at the friggin mall! Going to the mall on Dec. 23rd is not my idea of a good idea, and since everyone knows that real men don't even think about shopping until the 24th, I wasn't happy. Not going was not an option presented to me, so I figured that I would make the best of a bad situation, smile and go along with the madness.
When the lady picked me up yesterday morning I was handed a piece of paper. She had made each one of us a list of things to buy, which stores to buy them in and times that we should meet up to compare the progress being made. I asked why we weren't going to shop together - why the split up? "You walk too slow (my wheels are sometimes compromised from the sugar). This way we'll get done sooner." She had gone to the mall website and knew where every store was located, and had written it all down on my list. Fortunately I was given the task of shopping for her brothers and her son, so at least I didn't have to put up with missy and fat lady departments where crazed female types would be fighting each other for the right to purchase the latest and greatest fashions.
So we get to the mall to begin our quest to find the perfect gifts. Walking into the place told me right away that this was not going to make my top ten list of favorite things to do. At the entrance was a lady reading the riot act to one of her kids. The kid had made the mistake of reminding his polyester clad mother that she had promised him that they would stop for a snack after they had finished with the shopping. The kid now knows that the promise was only made to shut him up, and that he could never trust his mother again. I certainly understand making a false promise to a kid in order to shut him/her up, but it did disturb me at how joyful the ladies face looked as she was smacking his butt. I hoped that he would be the only screaming kid I would see here. He wasn't.
When we got to the main part of the mall and went on our separate missions, all I could see were throngs of wild eyed women rushing about. There were the posses of teenagers doing their shopping while holding phones to their ears. They don't talk, they just hold the phones to their ears. What is that all about?
Weaving my way through the maddening crowd I was able to find the first stop on my list - Modells. My task was to pick out a jogging suit for brother Ray, who wears nothing but athletic apparel. He doesn't ever jog or work out, but like a lot of guys, he likes to create an image. The right image is important where he lives so I wanted to find somethin' special for him. The store was crowded, but I found where the jogging outfits were and was able after a period of time to match up a top and bottom. That was the hard part since the racks looked like a grenade had gone off. The smalls were where the XL's were supposed to be; the Nike's were hanging with the Addidas and it took some doing, but with the help of a rather cute young lady I was able to find something I thought he would like, and under budget.
The lines to pay were long and it took longer before I heard "do you have a Modells card" than it did to find the outfit. I said that I didn't have one and didn't want one. The kids at the register must be trained not to hear no, because I had to hear why I should get one. When I said no for the second time the kid finally rang my purchase up and I was able to scratch off Rays name from my list and move on to my next assignment.
My lady had done a good job making up my list and her directions were right on. My next stop was at a Gamestop. Gamestops are a problem for a non-gamer like the long suffering fan. When I am king - all games will work in all of the game systems unlike now when you have to know what kind of system you are buying for. It is very confusing. I wanted to get this right because if I brought home a game that didn't work in the kids system it would mean I would be making another trip to the mall. I was under strict instructions to buy nothing with a violent or adult content. Good luck with that. That could mean buying Madden football or some other sports game, but the kid isn't into sports. Like most 13 year olds he would rather have a game where he could slaughter hundreds and save the world. This was a set up since whatever I picked out that would please the lady - the kid would hate. Not being able to find anything on the $30.00 section I settled for a game based on Star Wars - movies that he likes. Games shouldn't cost $69.00, but they do.
One more stop before our first meet up. Stop number three was easy and I went to the rendezvous point to wait for the lady. She arrived a few minutes later and was in a full state of craze. After that we both finished our shopping and headed for the car to try and exit the mall. It took almost a half hour to get out of the parking lot, but out we got and headed on back to her place where the real madness started - the wrapping.
Aside from the crowds - which I don't care for - the thing that completely messes with my mind is the Christmas music that one is forced to listen to while shopping. Do the merchants really think that making me hear Bing Crosby sing White Christmas will make me want to spend all of my money at their store? It doesn't. Listening to a choir of eunuchs singing about riding in an open sleigh makes me want to scream, not spend money for that very special gift. No, rather it makes me want to point the business end of an AK 47 to every speaker in the store and in the mall.
Anyhow, there I was back at the friggin mall today buying her best friend a new bathrobe. Why a bathrobe you ask? It was a bathrobe because that is what I was told to buy. I was told to pick out a nice one - a special one, because she is my best friend. What women will never understand is that on Dec 24 anything you buy is special to any real man. The merchants have stores full of special shit - just ask them. I had no problem finding that "special" robe. Shit, there were at least three for me to choose from, and it happened that the least expensive one was the most special of all.
After buying the robe, while I was walking out of the mall I couldn't help but admire how many men were walking around doing their shopping. They didn't look crazed. They didn't seem to care that in a few hours the stores would all be closed, and whatever hadn't been bought wasn't going to make the trips home. These are my heroes - the real men who wait until the last possible moment, and still get the job done. It's kind of like waiting until the night before the important term paper is due before you write it. No problem, as long as you get the job done.
So anyway. I drive back to where my lady works - tell her of my success - return her car keys to her and head on home. I suspect that she will call when she sees the robe, now safely ensconced in her trunk, to ask me if it was the nicest one I could find. I won't want to play that game, so I plan to tell her that it was indeed the nicest one they had in size 5XL, and that bright red will cover her rather large derriere very well (I won't really say that because I hope to stay alive a bit longer).
So after I got home I read some of the stuff that I enjoy and watched the videos that are allegedly of Jets coach Rex Ryan's wife playing with her feet. If you haven't heard, a story surfaced the other day that a video of Michelle Ryan was making the rounds on the internet and that a man sounding very much like the coach was heard in the background "coaching" her on her fetish techniques. When asked about this by the ultra-professional NY sports press the coach said that what he and his wife are into is personal and that he wouldn't answer any questions regarding the alleged fetish.
The long suffering fan is not into feet. I certainly wouldn't want to hang out or play footsie with a lady who has foul smelling tootsies, but if the coach and his wife are into such things - I could care less. I got no delight from the videos showing the lady playing with her toes - and who knows maybe all she was trying to do was count to 20. I would have paid attention if the videos showed the coach on his hands and knees playing sucky face with her toes, but they didn't so let's move on to more interesting topics. Although, he is a FOOTball coach, and maybe he is looking for new techniques to teach his kickers. Just a thought gang (You can find the videos at Deadspin.com).
That's about all for now, except to wish everybody a Merry Christmas. For those of you who like me do not celebrate this holiday, enjoy your Chinese food.
Thursday is normally my friends day off. We usually just chill out, relax, and have a nice day. Wednesday evening the lady called me to inform me that we would be spending her day off at the friggin mall! Going to the mall on Dec. 23rd is not my idea of a good idea, and since everyone knows that real men don't even think about shopping until the 24th, I wasn't happy. Not going was not an option presented to me, so I figured that I would make the best of a bad situation, smile and go along with the madness.
When the lady picked me up yesterday morning I was handed a piece of paper. She had made each one of us a list of things to buy, which stores to buy them in and times that we should meet up to compare the progress being made. I asked why we weren't going to shop together - why the split up? "You walk too slow (my wheels are sometimes compromised from the sugar). This way we'll get done sooner." She had gone to the mall website and knew where every store was located, and had written it all down on my list. Fortunately I was given the task of shopping for her brothers and her son, so at least I didn't have to put up with missy and fat lady departments where crazed female types would be fighting each other for the right to purchase the latest and greatest fashions.
So we get to the mall to begin our quest to find the perfect gifts. Walking into the place told me right away that this was not going to make my top ten list of favorite things to do. At the entrance was a lady reading the riot act to one of her kids. The kid had made the mistake of reminding his polyester clad mother that she had promised him that they would stop for a snack after they had finished with the shopping. The kid now knows that the promise was only made to shut him up, and that he could never trust his mother again. I certainly understand making a false promise to a kid in order to shut him/her up, but it did disturb me at how joyful the ladies face looked as she was smacking his butt. I hoped that he would be the only screaming kid I would see here. He wasn't.
When we got to the main part of the mall and went on our separate missions, all I could see were throngs of wild eyed women rushing about. There were the posses of teenagers doing their shopping while holding phones to their ears. They don't talk, they just hold the phones to their ears. What is that all about?
Weaving my way through the maddening crowd I was able to find the first stop on my list - Modells. My task was to pick out a jogging suit for brother Ray, who wears nothing but athletic apparel. He doesn't ever jog or work out, but like a lot of guys, he likes to create an image. The right image is important where he lives so I wanted to find somethin' special for him. The store was crowded, but I found where the jogging outfits were and was able after a period of time to match up a top and bottom. That was the hard part since the racks looked like a grenade had gone off. The smalls were where the XL's were supposed to be; the Nike's were hanging with the Addidas and it took some doing, but with the help of a rather cute young lady I was able to find something I thought he would like, and under budget.
The lines to pay were long and it took longer before I heard "do you have a Modells card" than it did to find the outfit. I said that I didn't have one and didn't want one. The kids at the register must be trained not to hear no, because I had to hear why I should get one. When I said no for the second time the kid finally rang my purchase up and I was able to scratch off Rays name from my list and move on to my next assignment.
My lady had done a good job making up my list and her directions were right on. My next stop was at a Gamestop. Gamestops are a problem for a non-gamer like the long suffering fan. When I am king - all games will work in all of the game systems unlike now when you have to know what kind of system you are buying for. It is very confusing. I wanted to get this right because if I brought home a game that didn't work in the kids system it would mean I would be making another trip to the mall. I was under strict instructions to buy nothing with a violent or adult content. Good luck with that. That could mean buying Madden football or some other sports game, but the kid isn't into sports. Like most 13 year olds he would rather have a game where he could slaughter hundreds and save the world. This was a set up since whatever I picked out that would please the lady - the kid would hate. Not being able to find anything on the $30.00 section I settled for a game based on Star Wars - movies that he likes. Games shouldn't cost $69.00, but they do.
One more stop before our first meet up. Stop number three was easy and I went to the rendezvous point to wait for the lady. She arrived a few minutes later and was in a full state of craze. After that we both finished our shopping and headed for the car to try and exit the mall. It took almost a half hour to get out of the parking lot, but out we got and headed on back to her place where the real madness started - the wrapping.
Aside from the crowds - which I don't care for - the thing that completely messes with my mind is the Christmas music that one is forced to listen to while shopping. Do the merchants really think that making me hear Bing Crosby sing White Christmas will make me want to spend all of my money at their store? It doesn't. Listening to a choir of eunuchs singing about riding in an open sleigh makes me want to scream, not spend money for that very special gift. No, rather it makes me want to point the business end of an AK 47 to every speaker in the store and in the mall.
Anyhow, there I was back at the friggin mall today buying her best friend a new bathrobe. Why a bathrobe you ask? It was a bathrobe because that is what I was told to buy. I was told to pick out a nice one - a special one, because she is my best friend. What women will never understand is that on Dec 24 anything you buy is special to any real man. The merchants have stores full of special shit - just ask them. I had no problem finding that "special" robe. Shit, there were at least three for me to choose from, and it happened that the least expensive one was the most special of all.
After buying the robe, while I was walking out of the mall I couldn't help but admire how many men were walking around doing their shopping. They didn't look crazed. They didn't seem to care that in a few hours the stores would all be closed, and whatever hadn't been bought wasn't going to make the trips home. These are my heroes - the real men who wait until the last possible moment, and still get the job done. It's kind of like waiting until the night before the important term paper is due before you write it. No problem, as long as you get the job done.
So anyway. I drive back to where my lady works - tell her of my success - return her car keys to her and head on home. I suspect that she will call when she sees the robe, now safely ensconced in her trunk, to ask me if it was the nicest one I could find. I won't want to play that game, so I plan to tell her that it was indeed the nicest one they had in size 5XL, and that bright red will cover her rather large derriere very well (I won't really say that because I hope to stay alive a bit longer).
So after I got home I read some of the stuff that I enjoy and watched the videos that are allegedly of Jets coach Rex Ryan's wife playing with her feet. If you haven't heard, a story surfaced the other day that a video of Michelle Ryan was making the rounds on the internet and that a man sounding very much like the coach was heard in the background "coaching" her on her fetish techniques. When asked about this by the ultra-professional NY sports press the coach said that what he and his wife are into is personal and that he wouldn't answer any questions regarding the alleged fetish.
The long suffering fan is not into feet. I certainly wouldn't want to hang out or play footsie with a lady who has foul smelling tootsies, but if the coach and his wife are into such things - I could care less. I got no delight from the videos showing the lady playing with her toes - and who knows maybe all she was trying to do was count to 20. I would have paid attention if the videos showed the coach on his hands and knees playing sucky face with her toes, but they didn't so let's move on to more interesting topics. Although, he is a FOOTball coach, and maybe he is looking for new techniques to teach his kickers. Just a thought gang (You can find the videos at Deadspin.com).
That's about all for now, except to wish everybody a Merry Christmas. For those of you who like me do not celebrate this holiday, enjoy your Chinese food.
Sunday, December 19, 2010
REX GROSSMAN IS THE MAN!!!!!!
So i'm reading the Washington Post this morning where the big news is the announced benching of our former guy D-Mac in favor of Rex Grossman. Not only will D-Mac not start the rest of the season, but he has been designated as the third string emergency QB.
Head Coach Mike Shanahan states in one of the articles that McNabs team option for next year will probably not be exercised which means that Donnie Boy will become a free agent. You talk about a fall from grace in record time!
Donnie was at the top of the world when he was moved to Washington last April, telling anybody who would listen that he would be leading the 'Skins back to the promised land under former two time winning Super Bowl coach Shanahan. Shanahan who had been anointed as one of the top coaches in the league by the pundits was the man who would install a winning attitude on both sides of the ball - completely revamping the offense and the defense who would now play a 3-4, instead of the 4-3.
Shanahan I must point out hasn't won squat since he had a guy named Elway under center. (Well at least he won twice unlike our boy Fat Andrew who has yet to collect a Super Bowl ring.) So here he comes, with a newly installed offensive coordinator (his son) and a plan from plan land. His first problem was a rebellion by his highest paid D-lineman who did not want to play nose tackle. The guy had been signed for $105,000,000, but wanted no part of the new scheme.
Trust me, if you give me that kind of gelt, I would play anywhere you wanted me to, but this clown said no I won't. Well he reports to camp out of shape and Shanahan puts him through all kinds of hell -in public - regarding passing a fitness test, not allowing him to practice with the team. Shanahan who has an ego larger than Donald Trump was going to show Albert Haynesworth who the boss was, and the result was a sub par performance by the defense and the ultimate suspension of Haynesworth.
Albert Haynesworth has been a top lineman for several years, and while I don't excuse his antics, I understand why he wanted no part of playing nose tackle. Nose tackles get the shit beat out of them without a lot of glory. They are double teamed on every play by guys who want to hurt them, and by the end of the season they have aged more than Obama has this past year.
When I played, a lot of teams played with a 5 man D-front, including both my high school and college teams. Whenever you use an odd man front line you need somebody to play nose tackle, or what was back in the day called nose guard. It was while playing this position that I was run over by one Reggie Jackson. I hated the position because I got the shit beat out of me on every play. It was a great day when I was moved to defensive tackle.
Shanahan being the stubborn egotist that he is was determined to install the 3-4 front despite not having the personnel to play it well. So much for his genius.
Despite the drama going on with Haynesworth, there was the excitement of the new offense which would be led by Donavan McNabb. Shanahan, a devotee of the west coast offense had in McNabb a guy who had played his entire career in the west coast system, had played in several pro bowls, and wanted to prove something. Redskin fans were sure that the glory days were coming back. Not so fast 'Skin people. Yes D-Mac had indeed played in a west coast system, but as the faithful soon found out he couldn't get the ball to his receivers without bouncing it on the turf, could no longer run the ball, and seemed to want to throw more interceptions than any quarterback who had ever laced up a pair of cleats. Part of the problem was that McNabb had trouble learning Shanahans system, and wanted to do things his way. According to reports in the Post he and the coordinater had problems from the beginning and of late hardly speak. Not a good situation for the quarterback who holds the Super Bowl record for puking in the huddle, when the coordinater and the head coach are father and son. Bottom line - adios D-Mac!
Now McNabbs agent states that D-Mac is being treated disrespectfully by the Redskins, and that a guy with his credentials deserves better. McNabb always seems to feel disrespected when he screws up and is benched for the good of the team. McNabb's mom thinks her son has always been picked on by the media and the fans. Oh well. The guy will have been paid in excess of $10,000,000 for wearing the Redskin colors this year and hasn't made anyone forget Sonny Jurgenson, Billy Kilmer, or Sammy Baugh. He has stunk up the field with his inaccurate passes and interceptions- just like he did here, and should just shut up and count his money. I for one am tired of his attitude and drama, and as far as I'm concerned he should join Brett Favre and pout while counting his money. Good riddance.
Now, Rex Grossman won't make anyone forget the aforementioned Redskin greats, but the team has nothing to lose by giving the former Florida Gator a shot.
Nothing going on on the baseball front of any importance to report, except that Reyes will not be joining the Phillies after all. He failed his physical, so Amaro is going to have to find a lefty for the bullpen. Maybe Bobby Shantz can still pitch.
Head Coach Mike Shanahan states in one of the articles that McNabs team option for next year will probably not be exercised which means that Donnie Boy will become a free agent. You talk about a fall from grace in record time!
Donnie was at the top of the world when he was moved to Washington last April, telling anybody who would listen that he would be leading the 'Skins back to the promised land under former two time winning Super Bowl coach Shanahan. Shanahan who had been anointed as one of the top coaches in the league by the pundits was the man who would install a winning attitude on both sides of the ball - completely revamping the offense and the defense who would now play a 3-4, instead of the 4-3.
Shanahan I must point out hasn't won squat since he had a guy named Elway under center. (Well at least he won twice unlike our boy Fat Andrew who has yet to collect a Super Bowl ring.) So here he comes, with a newly installed offensive coordinator (his son) and a plan from plan land. His first problem was a rebellion by his highest paid D-lineman who did not want to play nose tackle. The guy had been signed for $105,000,000, but wanted no part of the new scheme.
Trust me, if you give me that kind of gelt, I would play anywhere you wanted me to, but this clown said no I won't. Well he reports to camp out of shape and Shanahan puts him through all kinds of hell -in public - regarding passing a fitness test, not allowing him to practice with the team. Shanahan who has an ego larger than Donald Trump was going to show Albert Haynesworth who the boss was, and the result was a sub par performance by the defense and the ultimate suspension of Haynesworth.
Albert Haynesworth has been a top lineman for several years, and while I don't excuse his antics, I understand why he wanted no part of playing nose tackle. Nose tackles get the shit beat out of them without a lot of glory. They are double teamed on every play by guys who want to hurt them, and by the end of the season they have aged more than Obama has this past year.
When I played, a lot of teams played with a 5 man D-front, including both my high school and college teams. Whenever you use an odd man front line you need somebody to play nose tackle, or what was back in the day called nose guard. It was while playing this position that I was run over by one Reggie Jackson. I hated the position because I got the shit beat out of me on every play. It was a great day when I was moved to defensive tackle.
Shanahan being the stubborn egotist that he is was determined to install the 3-4 front despite not having the personnel to play it well. So much for his genius.
Despite the drama going on with Haynesworth, there was the excitement of the new offense which would be led by Donavan McNabb. Shanahan, a devotee of the west coast offense had in McNabb a guy who had played his entire career in the west coast system, had played in several pro bowls, and wanted to prove something. Redskin fans were sure that the glory days were coming back. Not so fast 'Skin people. Yes D-Mac had indeed played in a west coast system, but as the faithful soon found out he couldn't get the ball to his receivers without bouncing it on the turf, could no longer run the ball, and seemed to want to throw more interceptions than any quarterback who had ever laced up a pair of cleats. Part of the problem was that McNabb had trouble learning Shanahans system, and wanted to do things his way. According to reports in the Post he and the coordinater had problems from the beginning and of late hardly speak. Not a good situation for the quarterback who holds the Super Bowl record for puking in the huddle, when the coordinater and the head coach are father and son. Bottom line - adios D-Mac!
Now McNabbs agent states that D-Mac is being treated disrespectfully by the Redskins, and that a guy with his credentials deserves better. McNabb always seems to feel disrespected when he screws up and is benched for the good of the team. McNabb's mom thinks her son has always been picked on by the media and the fans. Oh well. The guy will have been paid in excess of $10,000,000 for wearing the Redskin colors this year and hasn't made anyone forget Sonny Jurgenson, Billy Kilmer, or Sammy Baugh. He has stunk up the field with his inaccurate passes and interceptions- just like he did here, and should just shut up and count his money. I for one am tired of his attitude and drama, and as far as I'm concerned he should join Brett Favre and pout while counting his money. Good riddance.
Now, Rex Grossman won't make anyone forget the aforementioned Redskin greats, but the team has nothing to lose by giving the former Florida Gator a shot.
Nothing going on on the baseball front of any importance to report, except that Reyes will not be joining the Phillies after all. He failed his physical, so Amaro is going to have to find a lefty for the bullpen. Maybe Bobby Shantz can still pitch.
Thursday, December 16, 2010
58 DAYS UNTIL PITCHERS & CATCHERS REPORT!!!!!!!!
What a week for the long suffering fan. The other night, when I was informed that it was being reported that Cliff Lee was going to sign with the Phillies, my first reaction was to dismiss the story as a cruel rumor made up by the dwarf Ken Rosenthal. Rosenthal, as you know, has been known to make shit up. So, when he was identified as one of the sources of the story I ignored it. Well, even the proverbial broken clock is right twice a day and Rosenthal was finally involved in something that came true.
I was excited, like I was supposed to be as a loyal fan of the candystripers and, when it became apparent that Ruben wasn't going to trade one of the other guys, I almost allowed myself to be ebullient. I held back my joy until yesterday when I got to see the Lee announcement press conference with Lee in a Phillies jersey sporting #33. Seeing that, I knew it was for real, especially with the smug grin Ruben sported. Ruben does smug as well as anybody I have ever seen.
When he was asked if he had spoken to Werth, Ruben said that he had, but couldn't repeat most of what was said. Then Lee told of speaking to his friend Jayson and that he was good and pissed. My my, I can show the guy 126 million reasons for not being pissed, but what do I know about such things?
Amaro did indicate that he had told Werth that he could have stayed with the Phils had he accepted arbitration. (Werth's agent Scott Boras has never heard of that word.) Ruben was telling the truth on that one, and I'll bet he enjoyed telling Werth that more than Werth will enjoy batting against his former teammates in 2011. Werth does improve the Nats, and I believe that with him they might even contend for 4th place in the NL East. Have a good year asshole!
Making the rounds in his new town, Werth was seen at a Wizards game. Also at the game was Donny Boy McNabb who was booed lustily by the fans when his picture appeared on fanavision. It didn't take long for Redskin fans to learn to hate this career loser. Who would have ever thought that the Eagles would be contending for the NFC East lead with Mike Vick, who the other day said that he missed having a dog? Somebody needs to have a long conversation with Vick about that one.
I'm sure that most of you have been hearing various pundits proclaiming the 2011 Phillies staff as one of the best of all time. Here's a little cold water to dampen those thoughts. They haven't pitched a game yet. They certainly have the potential, but as John Smoltz said the other day - they have to do it on the field before claiming the best ever title. Smoltz, you might remember, pitched for a pretty good staff himself. All of the BS got me to thinking of the 1954 Cleveland Indians staff who have been mentioned as one of the greats. So, lets get out the Wayback Machine and travel back to the mistake by the lake (I lived there and can say that. When I lived there the Cuyahoga River caught fire).
The '54 edition of the Tribe won over 100 games and had a pitching foursome that created fear and dread throughout the AL. They also had a damn good line-up and ran away with the AL pennant only to lose the series to the NY Giants. More on the line-up & the series a bit later.
The staff was led by 3 future HOFers, Early Wynn, Bob Lemon, and Bob Feller. Also in the starting rotation was Mike Garcia, and Art Houtteman.
Wynn: 23-11 2.73 era
Lemon: 23-7 2.72 era
Garcia: 19-8 2.64 era
Feller: 13-3 ( in 19 games)
Houtteman: 15-7 3.35era
In relief the team had Ray Narleski who led the AL in saves for 2 seasons and Don Mossi.
By the '54 season, Bob Feller was at the end of his career and didn't get a start in the series. This HOFer, who died yesterday pitched in his first ML game at the tender age of 17 after being signed out of Van Meter, Iowa. Despite serving 4 years aboard the U.S.S. Alabama as a gun crew chief, Rapid Robert was able to win 266 games. It is said that his fastball approached 100mph on a regular basis. He spent his entire career with the Tribe and was an AL all-star 8 times.
Bob Lemon had the distinction of both following and preceeding Billy Martin as New York Yankee (Blanton is available) manager. He had greater distinction as a pitcher for the Tribe. He played his entire career with Cleveland and featured a nasty fastball. Ted Williams called him one of the greatest pitchers he ever faced. At one time Lemon coached for the Phillies.
Mike Garcia was a husky Mexican-American who hailed from California. This 3 time all star first appeared at the end of the 1948 season and finished up in 1961 with the Washington Senators. He was a 2 time 20 game winner and was named to 3 all star teams.
Art Houtteman was a journeyman who had his best season with the '54 Tribe. He later pitched for the Tigers.
I've saved my favorite Indians hurler for last. I suppose when you are from Hartman Alabama, the name Early is considered normal. Maybe having the name Early pissed the guy off and gave him a nasty disposition, because he was extremely nasty when pitching. Early Wynn once said that if he were in a jam, with men on base and his mother was going to bat that he would knock her down. I don't even know if Bob Gibson was that cold.
Wynn began his career in 1939 for the Senators. His last appearance came in 1963. He had a blazing fastball and did indeed pitch with an attitude. By many accounts, Wynn hung around too long. He was determined to win 300 games and when he finally did it, it came 9 months after his 299th. After number 300 Wynn retired.
He appeared in several all star games and was elected to the HOF in 1976.
The '54 edition of the Cleveland Indians had several regular players worth mentioning. On that team was Lary Doby, a HOFer, who was the first black player in the AL, coming up a few months after Robinson. Vic Wertz, who had survived polio as a child, hit the ball that Willie Mays made "THE CATCH" of at the Polo Grounds during the '54 series. Dale Mitchell, a reserve on the '54 Tribe made history when he appeared as a left-handed catcher later in his career.
The '54 Indians had many connections to the greatest city in the world as well. Several players, including Hank Majeski, Joe Ginsberg, Wally Westlake, & Dave Philley, played with the A's and Philley played for both th A's and the Phillies.
I loved slugging 3B Al Rosen, because I had a Grand Pop & Grand Mom Rosen who I loved dearly.
The Wayback Machine is bringing me back to our time so I'll say so long for now.
I was excited, like I was supposed to be as a loyal fan of the candystripers and, when it became apparent that Ruben wasn't going to trade one of the other guys, I almost allowed myself to be ebullient. I held back my joy until yesterday when I got to see the Lee announcement press conference with Lee in a Phillies jersey sporting #33. Seeing that, I knew it was for real, especially with the smug grin Ruben sported. Ruben does smug as well as anybody I have ever seen.
When he was asked if he had spoken to Werth, Ruben said that he had, but couldn't repeat most of what was said. Then Lee told of speaking to his friend Jayson and that he was good and pissed. My my, I can show the guy 126 million reasons for not being pissed, but what do I know about such things?
Amaro did indicate that he had told Werth that he could have stayed with the Phils had he accepted arbitration. (Werth's agent Scott Boras has never heard of that word.) Ruben was telling the truth on that one, and I'll bet he enjoyed telling Werth that more than Werth will enjoy batting against his former teammates in 2011. Werth does improve the Nats, and I believe that with him they might even contend for 4th place in the NL East. Have a good year asshole!
Making the rounds in his new town, Werth was seen at a Wizards game. Also at the game was Donny Boy McNabb who was booed lustily by the fans when his picture appeared on fanavision. It didn't take long for Redskin fans to learn to hate this career loser. Who would have ever thought that the Eagles would be contending for the NFC East lead with Mike Vick, who the other day said that he missed having a dog? Somebody needs to have a long conversation with Vick about that one.
I'm sure that most of you have been hearing various pundits proclaiming the 2011 Phillies staff as one of the best of all time. Here's a little cold water to dampen those thoughts. They haven't pitched a game yet. They certainly have the potential, but as John Smoltz said the other day - they have to do it on the field before claiming the best ever title. Smoltz, you might remember, pitched for a pretty good staff himself. All of the BS got me to thinking of the 1954 Cleveland Indians staff who have been mentioned as one of the greats. So, lets get out the Wayback Machine and travel back to the mistake by the lake (I lived there and can say that. When I lived there the Cuyahoga River caught fire).
The '54 edition of the Tribe won over 100 games and had a pitching foursome that created fear and dread throughout the AL. They also had a damn good line-up and ran away with the AL pennant only to lose the series to the NY Giants. More on the line-up & the series a bit later.
The staff was led by 3 future HOFers, Early Wynn, Bob Lemon, and Bob Feller. Also in the starting rotation was Mike Garcia, and Art Houtteman.
Wynn: 23-11 2.73 era
Lemon: 23-7 2.72 era
Garcia: 19-8 2.64 era
Feller: 13-3 ( in 19 games)
Houtteman: 15-7 3.35era
In relief the team had Ray Narleski who led the AL in saves for 2 seasons and Don Mossi.
By the '54 season, Bob Feller was at the end of his career and didn't get a start in the series. This HOFer, who died yesterday pitched in his first ML game at the tender age of 17 after being signed out of Van Meter, Iowa. Despite serving 4 years aboard the U.S.S. Alabama as a gun crew chief, Rapid Robert was able to win 266 games. It is said that his fastball approached 100mph on a regular basis. He spent his entire career with the Tribe and was an AL all-star 8 times.
Bob Lemon had the distinction of both following and preceeding Billy Martin as New York Yankee (Blanton is available) manager. He had greater distinction as a pitcher for the Tribe. He played his entire career with Cleveland and featured a nasty fastball. Ted Williams called him one of the greatest pitchers he ever faced. At one time Lemon coached for the Phillies.
Mike Garcia was a husky Mexican-American who hailed from California. This 3 time all star first appeared at the end of the 1948 season and finished up in 1961 with the Washington Senators. He was a 2 time 20 game winner and was named to 3 all star teams.
Art Houtteman was a journeyman who had his best season with the '54 Tribe. He later pitched for the Tigers.
I've saved my favorite Indians hurler for last. I suppose when you are from Hartman Alabama, the name Early is considered normal. Maybe having the name Early pissed the guy off and gave him a nasty disposition, because he was extremely nasty when pitching. Early Wynn once said that if he were in a jam, with men on base and his mother was going to bat that he would knock her down. I don't even know if Bob Gibson was that cold.
Wynn began his career in 1939 for the Senators. His last appearance came in 1963. He had a blazing fastball and did indeed pitch with an attitude. By many accounts, Wynn hung around too long. He was determined to win 300 games and when he finally did it, it came 9 months after his 299th. After number 300 Wynn retired.
He appeared in several all star games and was elected to the HOF in 1976.
The '54 edition of the Cleveland Indians had several regular players worth mentioning. On that team was Lary Doby, a HOFer, who was the first black player in the AL, coming up a few months after Robinson. Vic Wertz, who had survived polio as a child, hit the ball that Willie Mays made "THE CATCH" of at the Polo Grounds during the '54 series. Dale Mitchell, a reserve on the '54 Tribe made history when he appeared as a left-handed catcher later in his career.
The '54 Indians had many connections to the greatest city in the world as well. Several players, including Hank Majeski, Joe Ginsberg, Wally Westlake, & Dave Philley, played with the A's and Philley played for both th A's and the Phillies.
I loved slugging 3B Al Rosen, because I had a Grand Pop & Grand Mom Rosen who I loved dearly.
The Wayback Machine is bringing me back to our time so I'll say so long for now.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)