I trust you all had a very Merry hauling in piles of gifts and good cheer. But now the jolly fat guy is wherever he goes to rid himself of the aromas of reindeer farts and we have some issues to discuss.
Actually, the real jolly fat fellow is at the Novacare Center counting his blessings. Yesterday, due to a loss by the NY Football Giants (why the sporting press still refers to them as the football Giants has me confused. Back when there were baseball Giants it made sense, but as you know there hasn't been a baseball Giants team in NYC since 1957. I guess some things just die hard.) propelled Fat Andrews team to another NFC East Crown.
In this season of gift giving NY was the gift that just kept on giving. What a day yesterday was - both the Giants and Jets went down to defeat. For those of us like the long suffering fan that's about as good as it gets. NYC is a great city which is made that much greater when its teams suffer the fate usually reserved for cities like Phoenix and Buffalo. The gift of seeing the various looks of contempt on Tom Coughlin's face will be a keeper for me. The man looked like he had been suffering from terminal constipation combined with some anger issues. It was great to see. Rex Ryan, whose team got into the playoffs even though they lost yesterday, parading the sidelines desparately wanting the game to be over so he could catch a flight home so he could cuddle with his wife's feet (Whatever works for you).
There is an expression used by every broadcaster of NFL games that I can no longer tolerate. Playoff implications is the expression and it should be outlawed. In every booth and postgame set some moron who happened to have played the game speaks to what has to happen for the Decateur Staleys to make their first playoff in 76 years. They have their charts and logos and are quick to point out that if so and so does this and such and such does that, then so and so will win the division knocking out the other guy. Then one their colleagues breaks in to inform us that the Pussycats faced this same scenario back in '97 when Joe Brainless was able to overcome 7 concussions to lead the team into the playoffs.
I love when the obligatory bimbette sideline reporter corners the star neanderthal of the game to ask him about the playoff implications of his teams 4th quarter comeback in todays victory. The stock answer of course is the same throughout the league - "I want to thank God and my teamates, and we will come out next week and try to win." The bimbette asks her questions as if she were interviewing somebody important about something that matters - you know like why do you insist on paying for unemployment benefits, but not the tax breaks for Jeff Laurie. I'd feel a lot better about these sideline mavens if they dealt with important shit like asking if the neanderthal is aware that his team didn't cover the spread and that as a result a bunch of fans may now have their kneecaps damaged by a guy named Vinnie who collects for a guy named Sal.
It can no longer be said that the NFL doesn't care about the fans. The league didn't want the fans to get stuck in a blizzard so they postponed yesterdays Eagles game until Tuesday night. That was the reason they gave for the postponement, but I say not so fast. The game was moved to Tuesday so as not to interfere with the Monday night game. They tried that last week when the roof collapsed in Minnesota and the networks went wild. Now NBC and ESPN each get their own night and everybody makes the money they were planning on. Roger Goddell could care less about fans getting stuck in parking lots - he cares about the dead presidents the league extorts from the networks.
To me, the postponement stinks. Playing football in the snow used to be the norm, and I agree with Ed Rendell who said he was disappointed as he was hoping to watch an old-fashioned football game. If the 1948 championship game could be played in a blizzard here in Philly (a game won by the Eagles) then they could have played here yesterday. Governor, I want old fashioned football back again, including being able to hit people the old fashioned way. And to hell with the fans who would have gotten stuck. If you are dumb enough to leave the warmth of your home with its flat screen 82" TV then you deserve to freeze to death in a parking lot. We all have been given "free will" and if you choose to use it stupidly, then take the consequences like a man.
There is some baseball news to report of local interest. The Phillies are about to sign LH Ed Romero to a one year deal. This is the same Romero who couldn't get the job done last year, and who managed to walk more batters than he struck out - not considered a good thing if you are a set-up guy.
It isn't too early to start thinking about Valentines Day 2011. I'm not talking about getting the lady another gift (they love jewelry), I am of course referring to the day pitchers and catchers report which this year coincides with another big day for companies like Hallmark and Godiva. Looking outside at the white shit makes me long for Feb. 14 so maybe I'll tune in to MLB and dream about what might happen to the visiting Astros when the face 3 out 4 of our aces during the first series of the season. Just thinking about Brett Myers & company playing the candystrippers is keeping me warm. Having the heat on is helping too - and I have no plans to go outside.
Enjoy the snow, and remember it isn't as bad as being a NY football fan!
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