WE ARE FAMILY!

IT IS HERE! As I write today I am listening to the ESPN broadcast of the Yankees/Tigers opening day match-up. As such, we can throw out all of the hype and stats from spring training. It matters not how well your favorite player did in Florida or Arizona. How many times have we seen a guy light up the Grapefruit or Cactus Leagues only to lose his stroke once the games were played for real?

I am using all of my senses today because to go along with the game I am listening to the Philly group Sister Sledge singing their biggest hit, "We Are Family" in honor of my new beloved team - who I will reveal a bit later. Last years beloved team, the Royals didn't disappoint me as they enjoyed yet another shitty season. They improved themselves during the off season and while they still won't challenge anyone for division title, they should jump up in the standings and that is why they had to be sent packing. I want my beloved team to be pitiful, and the Royals may be better than that.

Let's open up the season by warning one and all to avoid drinking the red kool-aid. You will have plenty of time later for such nonsense. Yes, the candystripers have an amazing starting rotation that if they can stay healthy should keep the Phillies in most games. I'm not ready to predict that we will see four 20 game winners like the Orioles gave their fans in 1971 but, if healthy, they should all at least bring in high teen wins with Halladay and Lee crossing the 20 win mark.

My problem with the rotation is, once again, Cole Hamels. I have to acknowledge that he was lights-out at the end of last season - but he is Cole Hamels. Whatever demons cause him to screw up can appear at any time. He looked lousy yesterday against the lowly Pirates and I'm hoping against hope that was not the Hamels we'll see during the season. I'm actually glad that Blanton is still with the team because we can pretty much count on him to keep the team in the games he pitches. The guy seems to have a lot of heart, and that is sometimes enough.

The bullpen scares the shit out of me, especially with Lidge hurt. That means that Charlie will have to use Contreras or Madson in the closer role, at least until Lidge is ready to come back. Contreras did a good job last year but he is the oldest player on the club (12/6/71) and one has to wonder how much he has left in the tank. Madson, while doing the job in the set up role, has not yet proven that he has the psychological wherewithal to be the man who gets the job done in the ninth.

As for the rest of the staff, perhaps Kendricks will contribute, and perhaps Romero will find what he had a couple of years ago, but we'll need the starters to go deep in order for the middle relievers not to blow up games. Like I said, it's too early for the kool-aid.

Who knows what Lidge will bring to the team once he gets back since he has lost a few miles off his fastball and he'll still be throwing breaking stuff into the dirt. He will be a question mark for this long suffering fan all season. I want him to do well, but I'm not counting on it.

All in all I am thrilled with our starting rotation. In any likely scenario, they will be in the top 2 or 3 in the majors and should insure that the Phils are competitive all season. As I said earlier, I don't believe we'll see four 20 game winners and, even if they did manage to accomplish that, it wouldn't guarantee a World Series win. The '71 Orioles lost to the Clemente-led Pirates in the '71 series even with their four 20 game winners. Yes Virginia, the Pirates used to win championships!

Turning to the starting eight and the bench gives me additional cause for concern. The obvious is Chase Utley. Utley has been unable to stay healthy for the past few seasons and it would not surprise me if the guy isn't able to play very much if at all this season. Without him, the Phillies will have all sorts of problems scoring runs, and it isn't reasonable to expect the staff to throw no-hitters in bunches. Filling in will be Mike Martinez, Wilson Valdez and some guy named Pete Orr who already has a bus ticket to Allentown for when Utley comes back. I hope Orr enjoys his cup of coffee with the team, since I can't imagine he'll be here at the end of the season when the Phillies are chasing the Braves, who I believe have improved enough to be mentioned as possible division winners. Valdez provided good solid baseball last year but if he is subbing for Utley he can't also take over for Polanco when his elbow acts up - as I believe it will.

When Polanco is healthy he has shown that he can provide excellent offense and credible defense. The key will be keeping him healthy.

This long suffering fan also has concerns at the shortstop position. Jimmy Rollins has been able to stay healthy this spring, but we need him to stay healthy all season and to play up to his capabilities. He needs to set the table and he can't do that when he is hurt. I suspect he reported in good shape since this is the last year of his current contract - and we all know how that usually motivates players to overachieve in the hopes that somebody will pay them a whole lot more than what they are WERTH. Rollins has many off the field interests and enterprises that could compete for his attention. Charlie needs to stay on top of him so that he can focus on baseball and not on buying the publishing rights of hip-hop singles as has been reported. This fool went and copyrighted "J-Roll" which also speaks to where his head is.

I've saved my biggest infield concern for last. I have never been a part of the crowd that considers Ryan Howard a superstar. He is a wonderfully talented athlete who, in my opinion, has never played up to his potential abilities. The long suffering fan acknowledges that Howard has hit a ton of home runs, and that he has improved his defense, but last year the guy hit .276 - and that just doesn't say superstar to me. I'll take the risk of sounding like the old man that I am by mentioning names like Williams, Musial, Aaron, Mays, Ruth, Gehrig, and others who showed that it is possible to hit home runs and for average at the same time. Howard needs to do so before I will confer superstar status to him. The Phils are going to need their highest paid player to pick up the team and carry them. They need him to lead by example and that example is to learn to lay off bad pitches and take care of business when he sees a good pitch to hit. Say what you will about Barry Bonds, but he was the most selective hitter I have ever seen. He had the discipline to wait for the pitch that he wanted. When he saw it he was able to juice it into the ionosphere. Howard needs to learn how to do that. He'll never be the complete player that this former Pirate was, but he should be able to improve his hitting - and he'll need to considering that he won't have Werth backing him up in the line-up. My fondest dream would be for Amaro to trade him to St. Louis for Pujols, who will not be signed by the Cardinals. It won't happen, so Howard needs to find a way.

The outfield is what it is, Victorino will be fine and Ibanez, if healthy, will do his job. So far I am pleased with the early play of Francisco. I think we all know that catching should be a strength for this team as well.

I am pleased to report that the long suffering fan did not miss the Luis Castillo era as a Phillie. One day last week I broke my rule of not watching pre-season games and saw Castillo have an at bat for the candystripers. I saw him in a Phillies uniform - I really did. His being let go the other day will no doubt please many Phillies fans who did not want to see a former New York Madoff play for our team. Those who saw him play believe that he can still contribute with the stick, but having the range of a statue in the field would have been a problem. On the bright side, now he won't be expected to pretend to care about wounded veterans. As he stated after skipping a Mets hospital visit in 2010, "You see people with no legs and with no arms, being in a hospital like that, I don't like to see that."

I have now listened to "We Are Family" more times than I should have. This was one of the biggest hits of the disco era when the long suffering fan wore nylon print shirts, tight pants, and platform shoes. The shirt had to be unbuttoned to mid-chest showing off both chest hair and a gold chain (with a gold spoon pendant, but I won't mention what that was for). The long suffering was chest hair challenged so all I could show was the required chain. We all thought we were as cool as John Travolta was in "Saturday Night Fever" and we went to clubs like The Library and Page I. Dancing was a problem since I could hardly walk in the platforms let alone dance in them. Back in the 1970s, the dominate team in the NL were the Reds followed closely by the Phillies and my newest beloved team who played at the confluence of the Ohio, Allegheny and Monongahela Rivers.

If you haven't figured out by now that I am speaking of the Pittsburgh Pirates you didn't see the clues I've left all over this post.

The Pirates of the '70s were a great team led by Willie Stargell who adopted "We Are Family" as their theme song. In the coming weeks I'll pass along anecdotes about those great teams and some of their colorful characters - like Dock Ellis. I have selected them because, after the teams that included Bonds, Bonilla, and for a brief time Moises Alou, the Pirates have shown that it is possible to suck for two decades. They will suck again this year, and that is why I love them.

Enjoy the opener tomorrow if you can, and remember NO KOOL-AID!