So, with the Phillies being rained out on Sunday and with no game scheduled Monday we had to endure two days of not seeing our heroes in action. I don't know about you but I missed them and have been excited to see them take on the surprising Diamondbacks who sit atop the NL West.
Before the season began I can't imagine anyone outside the D-Back organization thought much of their chances, but the Baseball Gods have decreed that, at least for now, these guys are for real. I don't know much about them, but the Phillies are certainly being challenged to play their best ball against these snakes from the desert.
There are losses and there are bad losses. Last night's loss to the D-Backs falls into the bad loss column. The game is the perfect example of why I cannot and will not go all-in with my emotions to your Philadelphia Phillies.
Doc, while not at his best, gave one of the gutsiest performances we are likely to see from a pitcher. He found a way to keep the D-Backs in check until the bottom of the ninth, with the exception of his former Toronto teammate, Lyle Overbay. He equaled his record for most K's in a game and, by all that is holy, should have gotten a win. Had he thrown one more strikeout he would have set a new one game strikeout record for himself and equaled the number of men left on base by his team.
The Phillies left a total of fifteen men on base. You heard me, I said, "FIFTEEN!" You would have a hard time beating a Little League team when you do that, and give the D-Backs credit as they hung in, and found a way to get the job done.
I believe that last night's game was a bad loss because when you are The Best Team In Baseball and you play an upstart team who leads their division it is important to bitch slap them so they will know that, come the playoffs, they don't have a chance against you! The way they lost had to give the D-Backs the confidence to know that they can play with the Phillies. Shit, how could you not gain confidence when you pitch a guy (Collmenter) who has but two pitches and he hogties The Best Team In Baseball and a guy named Putz (Yiddish word for penis), who has played for nearly as many teams as Gaylord Perry did, comes in and closes the Phillies down without so much as a whimper. It would not be a total surprise to me if Arizona not only takes this series, but sweeps.
The very worst was that Lyle Overbay is the guy who basically beat you. He was last seen wearing a Pirate uniform and about to be given his release by the fading Bucs. All of a sudden this bum resurfaces with the D-Backs (with whom he made his Major League debut back in 2001) and makes out like a stud by driving in all three of his team's runs. This he does while the Phillies were striking out eleven times while leaving the aforementioned FIFTEEN men on base.
The failure to hit with men on base was spread throughout the Phillies lineup with Hunter Pence leading the pack by leaving four on base while striking out three times. Rollins left three, followed by Moat Man who left two on base while striking out twice. The offense was pathetic.
Halladay had to feel real good after the game. How the fuck do you strike out fourteen and lose? I would have not been surprised if he had gone postal in the locker room after the game. Perhaps that's what the team needs - a rant from one of the pitchers who pitches a great game and loses because his position players forget how to hit a baseball. All of our starters have fallen victim to the lack of hitting, so maybe they should all go postal - perhaps even beating a few of the position players with bats. Shit, Halladay could have recreated the role of the Bear Jew from Tarantino's Inglourious Basterds and no jury here in the greatest city in the world would have convicted him.
If I'm Doc, I go after Moat Man first. I'd be screaming, "You did it again - you suck! Stop taking the time to make commercials and use the time learning how to fucking hit in game critical situations!" Then I would turn my attentions to the rest of this pathetic excuse for an offense. To Pence I would rant, "The honeymoon's over asshole - you played like Howard tonight and that is not acceptable!" Unfortunately Doc was probably a gentleman after the game.
There was an excellent article in this week's Sunday NYTimes about Moat Man. The article basically laid out why Howard is not the elite hitter he and many of you think he is. It points out that, despite all of his RBI's, he leaves far too many of his teammates on base and that he strikes out too many times in critical situations. The article does concede that he is a good player, but that's it.
I have no choice now but to mention Moat Mans new commercial. Have you seen it? The ad opens with Howard hitting batting practice pitches into the ionosphere. The scene moves to Howard telling us that part of his training regimen includes eating at Subway. He implies that eating their overpriced undertasty imitation "subs" is the reason for his success. Give me a fucking break. I have never been a big fan of Subway. Hell, I don't want a "sub" that is healthy. I want a HOAGIE that tastes good and uses ingredients that may very well give me a heart attack. Who gives a shit about that when the craving for a hoagie takes over? And where is Jared? I want the Bear Jew to find him and beat him into oblivion with a petrified roll from Sarcone's or Liscio's. Hell, even Amoroso's makes better bread than Subway! Jared and Ryan Howard make a great combination. May they both choke on what Subway calls bread.
Speaking of Howard's on my shit list, I haven't listened to Howard Eskin for many years. I believe him to be a complete and total asshole who is rude, arrogant and not as knowledgeable as he acts. When he first came on the air, Mike Schmidt was still playing and Howard latched on to him like a remora does to a shark. Eskin had his nose so far up Schmidt's butt-hole that Schmidt treated him with contempt. That made Howard suck up that much more to Schmidt and made it impossible for Eskin to report objectively about the guy.
From Schmidt, Eskin turned his sights south and became a regular sideline groupie with the University of Miami Hurricanes when they were the kings of college football. Eskin could be seen pacing the sidelines in one of his first fur coats sucking up to the likes of Jimmy Johnson, Michael Irwin, and others on the team that Penn State beat in the national championship game. I don't recall Howard ever congratulating the Nittany Lions and remember him distinctly calling the victory a stroke of luck and stating that they could never beat the Canes again because the Canes were the best ever.
The Miami teams of that era were, in fact, a great team, but wouldn't you think that a guy who was on the air in the Nit's back yard would at least give them their props? Not Eskin.
When Schmidt retired Eskin needed another ass to stick his nose in, and he chose Charles Barkley. Barkley has always been one of my favorite players and he treated Eskin like a bitch. Bravo Charles.
The article in yesterday's Daily News pointed out that Eskin has done 6,000 plus radio shows and that he felt it was time to move on. If Eskin, who never attended a class of any kind after his graduation from Northeast H.S., and never played any sport at all had made the decision to leave the air after 3,000 broadcasts it would have been better, but at least his voice will not pollute the afternoon drive time any more. Unfortunately, he will still do the Sunday night Channel 10 show with John Clark and Vai Sikehama, which means I will not watch it. Goodbye Howard, and good riddance.
We had our annual fantasy football draft over the weekend and had a ball. Our league has expanded to eight teams this year with the addition of two teams run by guys who participate in seven or eight other fantasy leagues. The event was held in an empty apartment in my building complete with draft boards on the walls, a stop watch so that you didn't take too long making your picks, and a lot of moaning and groaning when someone else snatched one of your guys before you could make the selection. My first pick was Houston RB Arian Foster who was a top fantasy producer last year. The bitch better not get hurt or I am screwed. I wanted to get Peyton Manning again this year but had to settle for Drew Brees when the guy ahead of me took Manning. The first QB taken was Michael Vick by a guy who also took DeSean Jackson, McCoy, and the new Eagle kicker Alex Henery. This clown showed up in full Eagles regalia and stated that he fully expected the Eagles to cruise to a Super Bowl victory. We'll see what happens once the games are for real.
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