I do understand that all across America there is great rejoicing that football is back. Millions of the great unwashed masses of protoplasm gathered in front of their televisions last night to catch the first look of their favorite teams playing the first pre-season game of the year. It is the silly season for football - a time when fans of teams that have absolutely no chance of winning anything have the hope that the draft pick from Bumblefuck Tech will be the missing piece that will take their heroes to the promised land of the playoffs.
Here in the greatest city in the world Eagles fans are doubly excited because their beloveds have signed nearly every free agent player on the market. Fat Andrews charges are being called the Dream Team - the stuff that legends are made of. I can only remind them that Andrew is still the coach, and that precludes winning the Super Bowl, and probably means an early exit from the playoffs. You may ask how the LSF can be so negative so early. I am not being negative. I am being realistic. I have watched the Lord of Lard coach the Eagles for enough years now to know that there will be no parades for we the fans as long as he is the coach. He will get us close, but in the end all we will get from him is "we've got to be better".
As to the free agent signings, we need to give thanks to Ruben Amaro, Jr. for that. Given all of the signings that the Phillies have made over the past few years Jeff Lurie has noticed that the Phillies are riding the crest of the fan popularity wave, and it gave him so much concern that his team will remain a below-the-fold item that he authorized the spending of his precious cap money so as to make us the fans drink our green Kool-Aid in the heat of the hottest summer we can remember. Lurie is jealous of the adoration we give to the team with the best record in baseball and the signing of all of the free agents is a ploy designed to get us thinking green, green , and more green. It is his way of reminding us that the baseball season is but a mere event designed to get us from the Super Bowl to the start of the NFL season. It is his way to remind us that now is the time to be buying Eagles jerseys, hats, blankets, and everything else under the sun with a Birds logo on it. It is his way of telling us to put away our Dawkins jerseys and replace them with the jersey of one of his new d-backs. If you want proof of this, go into any Modell's store and you will be awash in a sea of green.
The LSF did not watch a single down of last night's victory over the Ravens, but unfortunately had to listen to the joy boys on Sports Center report on all the games. Stop, I pleaded with them, IT IS STILL BASEBALL SEASON! They listened not to the LSF, so I switched to MLBN and suffered through Mitch Williams and his friends butcher a broadcast - but at least all they talked about was baseball.
My friend Bob, who wore one of his many Eagle jerseys yesterday, asked me why I am so down on the pre-season. He believes it to be a great time to see the new players and find a sleeper for one of his ELEVEN fantasy teams. When I told him that I was not planning to watch the game he reminded me that the Phillies had the night off. Bob was concerned that I would have nothing to watch, that I wouldn't be able to find anything to look at from the menu of over 100 channels that Comcast provides. Bob, you see, believes that TV was invented so that he could watch a game of something every night and that all of the channels not broadcasting a game are for his wife. I told him that there were a lot of reasons for my not watching the silly season games.
I won't bore you with what I told my friend Bob except for this: "You want me to get excited about watching people who will never play a down during the regular season - and I will not." Let me know when the real hitting begins and I will be tuned in. Furthermore, how can you ask me to get excited about something that doesn't matter at a time when I have to fret about Moat Man striking out eight times against Giants pitching? Lastly, how can I deal with statements like the one made by Rex Grossman that was reported on every sports show in Philly. Grossman made the statement that he believed that the Redskins were going to sneak up on everybody this season and would win the NFC East. It's true, I heard him say it. Rex Grossman ought to worry about his status. How can I take seriously the prediction made by a guy who may not even be the starting quarterback for the Redskins. It is the silly season, and I'm not gonna buy into it.
For the LSF it is the best part of the baseball season, and I am focused on the play of the guys in the candystripes. I won't invite a curse from the Gods Of Baseball by praising them, but what they are doing SO FAR this season is potentially the stuff that dreams are made of. I am fighting the urge to be sucked in to the red Kool-Aid vortex, but I don't remember when I ever stayed up to watch games from the West coast like I did last week.
The Phillies may be playing the best baseball I have ever seen them play, but I do get disturbed with the accolades bestowed on them by the pundits, announcers and others. I remind everyone that they haven't won anything yet, and that the season has many games to go, and that the Gods Of Baseball may be setting us up for the big heartbreak. No, I will not yet jump into the abyss. I will not let my emotions take over - at least not yet. I want them to win it all as much as anybody, and I want them to beat the shit out of the Yankees in the series, but for now I will enjoy the games, making notes on who fucks up, how many times does the Moat Man strike out in critical situations, etc. I will say that his bat has come alive of late, but let's wait until the season is over before losing our minds over him and his team.
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