DICK CLARK DEAD: I STILL WON'T FORGIVE HIM

I have started several posts since the last one, but they all bored me - so they were destroyed. I guess I wasn't angry enough about anything to be able to even want to write. As I write tonight, I'm not really pissed off about too much, but there are some things on my mind, so let's see if I can get the job done. First Issue: The Death Of Dick Clark. Clark died today, and CNN has already done two hours of tribute. I was a nine year old kid when Clark became the host of the locally-produced Bandstand. The original host, a degenerate named Bob Horn, was arrested for drunk driving, also charged with a sex crime involving a teenage girl, and swiftly removed from the show. Why WFIL-TV would have a problem having Horn continue to host a teenage dance show, I can't imagine, but a problem they had so they hired a pristine, handsome host named Dick Clark who knew not to touch the merchandise. Now, back then, Bandstand was a huge thing. Everyone watched it including my mother, who would get her ironing done while watching it on our four channel black & white cabinet TV. I found this out the hard way when I was grounded after she saw me dancing after she had forbid me from going anywhere near the studio. Clark had a way about him. He knew how to promote records and artists, and I always looked forward to watching the artists of the day lip-sync to their hits. Clark took career risks by booking black artists to appear on the show. In the late 1950s, that just wasn't done. The first time I saw Motown artists was on Bandstand. If you were good, he booked you, regardless of what race you were. As for being a dancer on the show, whites only. Apparently, seeing black and white kids dancing together was just too much for Americans' always delicate sensibilities to handle and Dick Clark played it safe in that regard. But then, Clark too the advice of Horace Greely and went West! He left Philly and took Bandstand to Los Angeles. He left Philly much in the same way that the Colts left Baltimore or the way the Giants and the Dodgers left NY. For leaving the way he did, I will never forgive him and believe he should do time playing in the flames of a personal hell where he is forced to listen to a continuous loop of Herman's Hermits' greatest hits. Second Issue: The Death Of The Phillies 2012 Season I've been holding off commenting on our hometown nine until now. Sure, I've expressed a few opinions, but I've tried to follow Oddball's mantra of not giving off negative waves (If you don't know who Oddball is, you need to stay home from work and watch Kelly's Heroes sometime very soon), but the negative waves have nevertheless crashed upon the shores of any hopes I still held onto. I know that the season is still young. I know that our starting pitching is excellent. I know that many believe that once Utley & Howard come back all will be well. I also know that a certain percentage of the Phillies fandom are either addicted to alcohol or drugs, but I'm here to tell you that all will not be well. The 2012 edition of the Phillies is not going anywhere. They will not make the playoffs. They will not win the division. They may end up with the lowest batting average in baseball. They can't hit and without hitting they can't score. Get ready for a season filled with games like the debacle seen Wednesday night when Lee shut out the Giants for 10 innings only to see the team lose it in extra innings. Those of you who believe all will be well once Howard & Utley return are drinking red Kool-Aid laced with LSD. Howard will strike out every third at bat and will become a major liability in the field. How do I know that? Gee, let me see. Players coming back from a torn Achilles tendon usually tend to lose some mobility, and the "Big Piece" was never better than adequate in the field to begin with. I can't wait to see what he does the first time someone bunts to his position. As for his power at the plate, Howard hit some HR's for sure, but what makes anyone think he won't be swinging at bad pitches? That's what the guy does. I've love to have a dollar for every low (very low) and outside pitch he has swung at during his career, and I have no reason to believe he'll come back with the discipline needed to avoid continuing to do the same. The only think that I know will improve for Howard is the amount on his paystub. Chase Utley will break your hearts as well. When he does come back, his timing will be off, his knees will be suspect, and his range on defense will be lacking. Utley is yesterday's news. He has given us many fine memories, but so have the Temptations. Their oldies are superb, but the next "My Girl" isn't coming our way. Watching a highlight film of Utley's greatest hits is all well and good, but there won't be any new clips added to that DVD anytime soon. When Utley does come back, what do you do with Galvis? The kid is raw, but he has shown me the potential to become a fine second baseman, and he needs to play everyday if he is ever going to fulfill that potential. Every at bat Utley gets will only serve to retard the development of the kid. If I were King Of The World, I would make Utley rehab for the entire season, eat his money, and let him retire with some dignity. That won't happen, but it should. Writing this post is depressing, but trust me - it's about to get worse. I have no choice but to move on to the four-headed monster. Yes, boys and girls, Ruben has provided us with four interchangeable guys who have shown no ability to hit with any consistency and whose fielding skills are suspect at best. The first head on the monster is Laynce Nix, who looks like he has been cloned from Ross Gload and a bucket of steroids. Number two is Ty Wigginton, who should obviously never play third again - ever. How scary is it that he is actually one of the better performers in the Phillies lineup? Number three is Pete Orr, who has yet to show me anything but futility whenever he touches a bat. Lastly, is a former great who is now finished. Not only can't Jim Thome get the bat around any more, he has show signs of Howard's disease, also known as lowandoutsideitis. There is no known cure for this condition. Basically, with all of the above stellar performers, I have to give this week's Bum Of The Week Award to the four-headed monster. Accepting the award for the monster is Brian Schneider. Schneider may become the fifth head for his offensive performance, but he plays his position acceptably well for now. Since I'm the mood to see some hitting, I've been watching a lot of Rangers games. It turns out that there are some teams that can hit.