Monday, November 29, 2010

Hiram College Beats Penn State!

There are upsets, and there are upsets. This weekend saw the Hiram College Lady terriers beat the Nittany Lionesses of Penn State-Behrend 72-66!! Of course they didn't beat the State College team, but so what - Hiram (my dear Alma Mater) has a habit of losing to schools like Oberlin, Kenyon, and other schools that would never put fear in the hearts of any good middle school team in any hood.

Now that the important shit is out of the way I trust you all had a great holiday. Most if not all of you ate more food than people in parts of the world see in a month of Sunday's. I was no different so this long suffering fan casts no aspersions and hopes that gluttony is not one of the mortal sins. I don't believe in such things but I do worry about those of you that do. No need for a guilt trip.

It is Sunday night and I am sick and tired of watching and listening to football, and the folks who do the announcing. They all sound alike and say the same things. I may scream if I hear anyone say "playoff implications" one more time. I don't want to hear another color commentator tell me about the "A" gap, or try to make a journeyman sound like the greatest of all time because they made a play.

I am not a violent person. I detest violence, but I could cheerfully beat the piss out of the women who come outside on xmas morning to find a Lexus with a giant red bow on the roof. And what the hell are Chocolate diamonds that a jeweler is pushing at me during a football game. One of my favorites is the Coors Silver Bullet train. Man if you've had so much brew that you are seeing silver trains you probably check into a re-hab center. You might even meet Lindsey Lohan or somebody else who is a star who I have no understanding as to why.

My Eagles got exposed again, but not after I saw Michael Vick interviewed. They showed the guy speaking to kids about how they should act. They showed him telling the world that he believed he would find full redemption when he and his kids could experience the joy of raising a dog in their home - giving it the love it needed. Vick wants a dog to love and cherish. Man, I wouldn't want to be that dog. What could happen if the Vickster had a real bad day at the job and he came home and found that the dog had pissed on his Persian carpet?

The Bears showed some claws today, and Fat Andrew was clueless all day. (Can you imagine how many calories Andrew consumed on Thursday?) What made the loss worse was how the New Jersey Giants came back to win. I had to watch Eli Manning light the stadium up - scoring mucho fantasy points for my opponent while his brother Peyton is right now guaranteeing a loss for me this week. I don't like either brother nor do I care much for their father Archie. They call Archie a great quarterback, but if my memory serves me - when the southern fried Archie was the Saints QB the fans wore bags on their head because the team sucked.

There doesn't seem to be much happening on the Hot Stove front, except for the drama going on between Jeter and the Yankees. Jeter is insulted that the team has only offered him a 3 year 45mm deal. He wants the national debt of Greece. He wants the kind of money he might have commanded if he were a 28 year old superstar-like he was- instead of a late 30's player looking at the downside slope of his career. The Yankees want to pay him more in each year than any of us will make in our lifetimes and this guy is insulted! Fuck him, and the Yankees. I hope he signs with Boston and receives threats whenever he has to play the Yankees. I hope a guy named Sal from Brooklyn stalks him, and that he gets caught in a white slavery ring after all those years of being Mr. Clean.

I had to turn the game off after hearing Al Michaels say that the Chargers were on the cusp of beating the Colts. On the cusp? Fully 86% of the people watching this game have no idea what the word cusp means, especially those that by now have consumed a large amount of silver trains. If you ever heard someone use the word in conversation you would run away from that person. I used to like Al Michaels, but I now put him in the catagory of Joe Buck - a man I truly detest.

At some point the Phillies will make some moves, or some of you need to get to the batting cages because they may need you to play right field. So far our boy Ruben has been on the quiet about what he is planning, and that makes me nervous. The talk has been that Werth might sign with the Sawx, which is why I would love to see Jeter go there. I doubt if Boston is prepared to pay Werth what he is looking for if they have to pay Jeter what it would take to get him out of New York.

Maybe Ruben is secretly negotiating to bring Eric Bruntlett back. I say, "why not?" See, I am of the belief that our Phillies are on the same slope as Jeter and that the so called window is now shut. "How can that be," you ask (thinking that the old suffering fan has finally succumbed to dementia), "since our pitching is so great?" I grant you that we have one of the better 1,2,3 starters in the game, but how about the rest of the staff? We have a lot of holes to be plugged up, and Lidge is still the closer. One never knows when suddenly he pitches like Adam Eaton. When will Contrras's 102 year old body fall apart? Who will pitch the 7th now that it looks like Durbin might not be around? What if Hamels pitches like he did in 09?

Oh, they won't fall apart overnight, but they are not a young club. What if they hit next year like they did this year? What if Howard tries to set an all-time single season KO record? What if Victorino gets hurt - who will play CF- Ross Gload? I am concerned gang - very concerned.

The baseball gods may have some interesting events planned for us next year, and I can't wait for it to start. I can't believe how sick of football I am getting already, so baseball better hurry up and get here.

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