Monday, April 4, 2011

DANCING IN THE STREETS

Who would have thought that after the first games were played that my beloved Pittsburgh Pirates would be 2-1, that the Baltimore Orioles would be 3-0, and that the Chicago Cubs would even show up at the ballpark. That the Phillies are 3-0 after a sweep of the Houston Astros is not much of a surprise since the Phillies are a very good team and the Astros truly suck.

This long suffering fan was able to watch all three of the games played this past weekend, and, while I didn't feel sorry for the Stros, I was amazed at the play of the candystripers. Everybody contributed to the fun-fest at the Bank including Superstar Ryan Howard. Rollins played like a guy looking for his next contract, and the starters did what they were supposed to do - they shut down a bad team. Ben Francisco was a pleasant surprise in right. HELL, he actually looked like he belonged there.

I keep hearing the great Martha and the Vandellas led by Martha Reeves singing their hit "Dancing In The Streets" wherever I go and being the curmudgeon that I am I must caution about lining up for series tickets too soon. WE BEAT THE HOUSTON ASTROS, not the 1929 A's! Calm down everybody, there are still 159 games to be played and a lot can happen. Shit, even in Pittsburgh they are dancing at the Point, and the Inner Harbor has folks from Dundalk to Bel Air looking for crab cakes and suspending their fear of black people which usually keeps them from downtown Baltimore. People in the 'Burgh have put down their Iron City and instead are sipping black & gold frozen Kool-Aid. Here in the greatest city in the world sales of anything red are soaring to record levels. I may even open up a Kool-Aid stand somewhere in South Philly and make a fortune.

Tomorrow, the New York Madoffs come to town for what I hope will be yet another sweep by the hometown team. Normally, the second series of the season features a team's secondary pitchers but, with Hamels suiting up on Tuesday, that won't be the case. The Madoffs are at least as bad as the Astros so even I am optimistic. I predict that the Phillies will head to Atlanta after taking two out of the three games against the Madoffs. What if I'm wrong, and the Phillies lose the series? Kool-Aid sales will plummet and many a tight sphincter will watch us play the Braves - who are a real team with real players. They are a better team than the guys the Phillies bitch slapped at the end of last season, so fasten your seat belts and let's see how well Superstar and company do in what will be their first test of the season.

Later this evening the Butler Bulldogs will attempt to win their first NCAA title when they tip off against the Huskies of UConn. For all you Hoosier types out there I'm afraid that the guys from Circle City will go home as bridesmaids. That isn't to put them down, but Kemba Walker is playing like a man possessed and career cheater Jim Calhoun should win another title. Since I am predicting a UConn win, those familiar with my ability of picking winners may want to call Jackie Da Bookie and put your entire net worth on Butler.

Finally, congratulations to Scott and his band of re-enactors who opened up their season yesterday dropping both halves of a double header. The A's have improved to the point where they even scored some runs. The score in both games were like football routs, but Scott's bat actually touched some pitched balls, something that occurred rarely last year.

I'll write again after the Madoff series so, until then, enjoy this brief taste of Spring. Don't be afraid if you see bright lights walking down the street because we are not being attacked by aliens - what you are seeing are the very pale legs of the long suffering fan wearing his shorts for the first time this year. My legs are truly scary until I acquire some color.

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