Sunday, April 24, 2011

J'ACCUSE!

Yesterday, during a conversation with my editor/son, I was accused of being strangely silent when certain members of the Phillies rise to the occasion and contribute to a team victory. Why, he asked, did I not write words of superlative praise when the owner of Cole's Cutz stepped on the mound and delivered a gem of a performance? Why, he asked, did I not write words of superlative praise when Superstar stepped into the batters box, did his Babe Ruth pointing to the seats routine, and then delivered a clutch hit to lead the candystripers to yet another victory?

Let me clear the record. I have no problem acknowledging the contributions of either Hamels or Howard, when they make them. Hamels indeed pitched a nice game the other night in front of his hometown San Diego fans. Howard did get the key hit in last night's victory. His two run double, hit with the outcome of the game still in doubt, was clutch and very welcome after he had struck out in his four previous trips to the plate. Shit, the wind created by his "swing and a miss" efforts had meteorologists all over California and Mexico issuing high wind warnings from freak occurrences of the Santa Ana winds.

How do I know that Cole was a native San Diegoan? It is a fact I'll never forget because our two ace broadcasters McCarthy and Wheels mentioned it 428 time during the game. About the only thing they didn't tell us was the name of Hamel's junior prom date. Another fact I will never forget is that Wheels went to Marple-Newtown High School. Apparently he bumped in to a Phillie fan attending the game who hailed from Broomall, so of course he had to do two minutes on what a great place it was to grow up. Duh! Give me a break Wheels. If growing up in a non-diverse community (no blacks) made up of ticky tacky housing developments (lots of post-war split levels) and a permanent inferiority complex of not being on the real Main Line is your cup of tea, then bravo to mediocrity. What Wheels needs is to take off his wig, as it is obviously much too tight. He needs to acknowledge that the only thing more boring than Marple Township is himself.

Back to the Phillies. The mark of a good team is the ability to win games when not playing well. As of this writing, they are still atop the NL East despite hitting below .200 for the past few weeks. Ibanez hasn't had a hit for quite a while and the way he is swinging the bat tells this long suffering fan that if he is lucky he'll get his next hit sometime around Fathers Day. And what about Mr. Contract Year Rollins? He got his second RBI of the year last night! Someone needs to tell Rollins that if his current level of play continues, his next contract will be with the Wilmington Blue Rocks.

Despite Superstar's clutch hit last night the only record he looks to beat is the one for the most strikeouts in a single season. He not only isn't hitting for average (what a surprise), his power production is pathetic. Every ballplayer has slumps, but he looks terrible at the plate. He is swinging at every low pitch that is thrown and is not making good contact with the ball. Maybe the pressure of having to be the man is too much for him to handle, or maybe he is distracted by something - I don't know - but something needs to be done, and quickly, because if he doesn't hit then all of the pitching in the world won't get this team to the promised land.

Speaking of pitching. I can't remember another time in Phillies history when pitching carried the team the way it is carrying them now. Back in the day, the team could usually find one stud in the rotation followed by OH SHIT. The current edition of the team is winning because of pitching - even the bullpen has for the most part done their job. Lee and Halladay have pitched OK, and Hamels has shown signs of life but, for my money, Oswalt has been the big story. He doesn't get the press or the hype of the others but he quietly goes out there and gets the job done. For me, he is the staff story of the season - so far. I cringe when Blanton takes the hill, but then I remember that he is the 5th starter, not the ace, and in that context even Blanton has performed. Madson and Contreras have basically been lights out. When is the last time you or anyone else has had the thought "I can't wait for Lidge to get back?"

The season is still young so we'll have to see how it all plays out, but being in first place is certainly better than where the Madoffs reside even though the Phillies have only played one good team so far (Brewers), and that didn't work out real well. I'll stick with them at least until I see how they do against other good teams.

Later today, the Sixers season will more than likely end as the Heat looks to sweep our guys [Editor's note - Ha!]. The team is surprisingly entertaining even while losing. Jrue Holiday is the real deal, and if they can find one or two other players to compliment him they may be able to compete with some of the better teams. No, I am not high.

It also looks like the Flyers are about to begin yet another off-season as they prepare for the traditional first round exit from the playoffs (last year was an aberration). The mighty Buffalo Sabres have so far proven to be more than Ed Snider's guys can handle, and I don't see a miracle on the ice this time. I suppose that many members of the team will make their way to America Lite after the next game where they may have better luck ice fishing than they did playing ice hockey.

With both the basketball and hockey seasons about to end we can focus on the candystripers and the upcoming wedding of Kate and William. I've never understood why so much fuss has been made over the royal family, but if that is your thing - have a ball. They are essentially an inbred group of spoiled descendants of thieves, rapists & murderers who give new meaning to the concept of welfare.

Hope you all had a nice holiday, and don't forget that season two of the HBO show Treme begins tonight. Khandi Alexander should be awesome!

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