Mr. Boehner, the Republican leader in the United States House of Representatives, doesn't believe global warming has been proven, but he thinks some more tax cuts for the top one percent of you would nip that shit in the bud if it were proven. Most people of sound mind usually just shake their heads in disbelief at whatever Mr. Boehner says (notice that I didn't call him an asshole) but today, no, this weekend, whatever doubts I had were tossed out the window. It is not even June first and I have been sweating August kind of sweat.
It isn't supposed to get this hot until after the middle of June, but here we are in the middle of a heat wave in May. What lies ahead scares the shit out of me. If it is is over ninety now we may see a bunch of hundred plus days ahead. I will not be happy, but neither will Roy Halladay. I didn't see the game until I got home from the big cookout. Doc was sweating like a whore in church and gave up three home runs. Doc never does that, but at least the Phillies were able to hang on for the big win. When I got home I took a cold shower which helped for about two minutes. From there I got comfortable and turned on the Phillies game. I was watching and noticed that it was daylight in Washington, but dark here. I truly could not figure it out for a couple of innings, then suddenly it dawned on me. This must be a rebroadcast. I didn't know how the game had turned out so I watched it to the end, and enjoyed seeing Jayson Werth strike out in the bottom of the ninth. He continues to help the Phillies win games and he should be applauded for that. It was a replay, unless of course D.C. was moved to Disney Land.
What's with the hats? Whoever designed them and whoever approved them should be shot for having shitty taste. The wearing of the American flag on a sleeve or on the chest would have been a nice touch, but I suppose MLB didn't want to have to wear the Dominican flag at whatever point in time that there are more Dominicans playing than native born Americans. The hats were hideous, and what about the Nats jerseys? No matter - Modell's already has them in their store windows, and I expect to see people wearing them tomorrow. I expect that I will at some point tonight get an e-mail from the Phillies and MLB advertising and asking me to buy one of them.
The bottom line is that "honoring our fallen" had nothing to do with why all the teams had similar hats. It was about MLB attempting to find out how many people would give then MONEY for one of them! If I see someone wearing one of them I will probably laugh as hard as I do when I see a guy walking around in a really bad toupee. I always want to tell them, "NICE HAIR," but I don't because they might be strapped. It's a dangerous world out there. You need to watch who you mouth off to.
In other news... Congratulations to the U of VA men's lacrosse team for winning the NCAA championship with a 9-7 win over Maryland. If you don't already know, Balls was a pretty good goalie in high school. His team played no defense so he had to learn how to stop bunches of shots in order to stay alive. His team didn't play much offense either, but they played hard.
I usually like to watch the LAX title game (it's just like basketball, except you get to hit people with sticks), but missed it in favor of attending a cookout in the park. There was enough food to feed all of the homeless in Philly, and most of it was delicious - though not recommended by the American Heart Assoc. The mac and cheese was to die for, and the chicken was cooked perfectly by the token white guy in attendance. The key to cooking on the grill is to ignore all of the advice everyone is giving you while you are about to pass out from the heat. There is always the guy, who is trying to be helpful, telling you how he cooks chicken. I wanted to stab Mr. Helpful in the eye, but resisted. Then there are the girls who come up to the grill, look at what is being cooked, and say something like, "don't overcook it." Hey people - if I am the schmuck who is doing the cooking, I'll do it my fucking way, and that includes slathering the ribs with a sauce that has more calories per rib than would be required to keep a person alive for a month.
I have been taught that it is better to smile and say, "yes," so I hold my tongue, and then watch how everything cooked is consumed by the very people who were trying to be "helpful." They left nothing. Like a hoard of locusts destroying Egypt, the folks in attendance ate themselves silly which I suppose is appropriate for a holiday, and is certainly better than drinking yourself silly. Of course, there was the guy wearing a wife beater who was slurping beer like it was going to cool him off. He has seen too many Coors Light train commercials. After he was shitfaced, he was still hot.
I understand that Vance Worley opened his apartment door in Allentown today and yelled to his roomates, "I'm home". Worley, in case you hadn't heard, was sent down (again) after his piss poor outing against the Madoffs on Sunday. He really stunk the place up and I expect, barring injury, we won't see him again until after the September roster expansion. Sometime in the next few days Victorino will be activated giving the Phillies one too many outfielders. Assuming that the Phillies keep Martinez (a rule five player), that means one of either Mayberry, Francisco, or Brown will be sent down. If Ruben calls, asking the LSF to decide, I say adios to Francisco. Brown is starting to hit, and in the clutch. Mayberry is a better athlete and has more upside than Francisco. Mayberry is only hitting .240 something, but Francisco is about to fall below .210. If Francisco turns it around in Allentown they can still do something with him but for now I want to keep the young players.
Ruben, of course, will not call and will probably do something different than I would like, but then that will give me a reason to post some poignant remarks.
I managed to see Gomer Pyle sing "Back Home In Indiana," but didn't watch the race. I saw the highlights, and couldn't have scripted a better ending. The upstart rookie leader hit the wall and another veteran driver won his second Indy. There are racing gods, and they must still be laughing.
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