Monday, January 24, 2011

SANCHEZ PICKS A WINNER!!!

I'm on a roll! I picked both winners in yesterday's conference championship games and have that invincible feeling one gets when one gets to pocket some of his bookie's money. I'm talking fantasy money because I stopped the real betting years ago when it became apparent to me that I was supposed to pay my kid's tuition and not my bookie's. My record so far in the playoffs is 6-4 which in real life would have me up a few dollars.

The Bears-Packers game was one of the least entertaining games I've seen in a long time. Sure, the Bears played some decent defense, but teams usually don't win playoff games with the pathetic offense shown yesterday. Credit has to go to the Pack defense, especially my new favorite D-lineman BJ Raji, who has given fat guys a new reason to cheer and believe that they could be heroes someday (although they still won't get the girls).

The talk is all over the web today questioning Jay Cutler's manhood. I was certainly surprised that the guy didn't play most of the second half after 'hurting" his knee but I have to tell you that, in my opinion, when the money is on the line and you can walk - you give it a try. I won't go so far as to say that Cutler is a pussy, but the reason he was acquired from the Broncos and is being paid more than the national debt of Peru is to play and win games such as the one that was played yesterday. I seem to recall other QB's playing hurt, and especially remember a guy named Joe Namath playing when he could hardly walk - his knees were that bad.

Having said all that, even if the Meow man had played the entire game I believe the Pack would have ended up in the winners circle. Aaron Rodgers acknowledges that he did not play his best game, but the Packer D brought the W home.

The Bears-Packers game was so boring that I did some channel surfing during the commercials. I ended up splitting my viewing time between the game and the Barrett-Jackson Collector Car auction. Now I have to tell you that I am not what you would call a car person. I don't collect cars and would rather have my nails pulled out with a pair of pliers than watch people who talk funny make left turns for 500 miles. I did enjoy watching guys my age pay tons of money for cars they couldn't afford when they were young.

My favorite was a 1959 Cadillac Eldorado Biarritz convertible. This car had to be as long as a WWII destroyer and had more chrome than is left to be mined.

Back to the games. While waiting for the Steelers game to begin I caught a little of the post-game show from the Packers locker room. Now, I must tell you that this long suffering fan does not normally watch these things. I don't watch pre-game shows either since I have had enough of Boomer to last a lifetime, and have no desire to listen to Coach Johnson, or Howie or the other Boomer show me that they can't pick winners. I don't need their help in picking losers - I do that well myself.

So, I'm watching the postgame and notice that the Packers all had their NFC Championship shirts and hats on, and then they show me a commercial telling me how to order mine. Wow, they don't waste any time do they? But, if they can sell me winners shit, then they must also have been prepared to sell me Bears shit, and they didn't win. So what third world country (maybe Haiti?) will they send the Bears shit to? I have a great idea. Instead of just giving the stuff away to people who have never seen a game (too busy looking for food I guess), why not market the losing team's gear to hard core fans of the losing team, and for that matter to all the losers who have been watching the game? Who knows, it might work and the NFL will have found another source of revenue. While they're at it, why not a t-shirt and hat combo picturing hits that send guys to la-la land?

Finally, after an afternoon of watching a lousy game. it was time for the Steelers-Jets game. Despite being a Philly guy I have loved the Steelers for many years. How could one not love this team? Hey look, I would root for the Eagles if they were playing the Steelers, but other than that I enjoy watching the style of football played by the guys from "The Burgh." They certainly had their lean years, but once Chuck Knoll took over and the Steel Curtain was established - wow - great football started coming out of the city with three rivers and lots of unemployed steel workers.

For me, the first half was as perfect as it could get with the Jets being bitch-slapped by the Steelers defense. I enjoy teams that run the ball, and Mendenhall and company certainly dispelled the canard that the Jets could not be run on. As a former O lineman, I was ecstatic watching the the Steelers line make mincemeat out of the Jets. Wow, a team that runs the ball. I wondered what Fat Andrew was thinking when he saw that?Andrew, as you may know, does not believe in running the ball. Andrew believes in the west coast offense - which so far hasn't brought his teams any championships. I wonder if he noticed that defenses put less pressure on the QB when they have to defend against the running game. When a defense knows that you are going to pass pass pass, and pass some more - it becomes "KATIE, BAR THE DOOR" and they send everybody in to try and maim the QB. ("Katie, bar the door" was an expression a coach of mine used to yell. I didn't understand it then, nor do I today) [Editor's note - according to the internet, the exact phrase seems to be linked to a James Whitcomb Riley poem, by way of some old Scottish nonsense about Martinmas and white puddings: http://www.phrases.org.uk/meanings/213750.html]

Despite being down 24-3 going into the second half, the Jets showed a lot of spunk and character with the way they played in the second half. Even Sanchez showed glimpses of knowing what he was doing, and the Jets defense kept the Steelers at bay giving the team from New Jersey a chance to win the game. In the end it was Ryan who had to suck it up and give the loser's interview after the game. He did it well and it is hard for me to dislike the guy despite his being the coach of a NYC Metro team. I'd love for him to trade the Jets green for the Midnight Green of the Eagles - but that, as they say, ain't gonna happen.

If you didn't enjoy this game then you should probably watch NASCAR or even soccer because this was as good as it gets. I mean how cool was it when the Steelers did the goal line stance only to give up a safety to the Jets on their first play? The hitting was crisp throughout the game, and how about the way Harrison and Farrior stuffed run after run by the Jets.

Now as some of you know, I find most of the commercials to be just plain stupid, gratuitous, and insulting. One more attempt to sell me a pick-up truck, or to get me to eat somebody's fast food poison might make me scream loud enough for some militia types in Idaho get worried. That said, the Dr. Pepper commercial featuring Michael Strahan flattening Donavan McNabb while delivering a pizza still has me laughing. The commercial is not the first time I've seen Strahan take D-Mac out.

As I said earlier, Mark Sanchez played a better game than I thought he would, but the best Sanchez moment took place on the sidelines. A video that I saw on Huffington Post today shows Sanchez picking his nose and wiping the boogers on the jacket of teammate Mark Brunell. For real. Sanchez is seen using the thumb and forefinger technique as opposed to the one finger scoop method. Whatever works! I recommend that you view this "highlight." Now, I know that some of you are loathe to visit a left wing commie pinko site such as the Huffington Post, but I assure you that you will not be affected negatively in any way. Perhaps after watching the video you can go to the Glenn Beck site and get a hate transfusion so that you won't be considered a liberal by your friends. Seriously, it is funnier than shit. [Editor's note - Our esteemed host doesn't seem to understand the concept of linking to what he's talking about. He's old and still learning the internet. See it here: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2011/01/23/mark-sanchez-picks-nose-brunell_n_812824.html]

The Vegas odds-makers have put out their early super bowl line and have made the Packers a 2 1/2 point favorite. Since I believe that the Steelers will easily win the game it might be a good wager, but I shall refrain from calling my old bookie. The 2 1/2 point spread is the narrowest in 27 years, and the Vegas favorite has won 32 out of the 44 games played to date.

I am looking forward to watching the game, especially since it is being played in Dallas. Both the Packers and the Steelers have a history of beating up on the Cowgirls in title games. Instead of his Cowgirls, Jerry Jones will have to watch two Cowgirl killers play in his house. It doesn't get any better than that.

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