I was all set tonight. I made sure that I had done everything that I had to do, had had dinner, and had even done the dinner dishes. I sat down on the sofa with a fresh cup of coffee and had two bowls on the coffee table - one of which had freshly made popcorn. I was living large while waiting for the first pitch from Lincecum.
I knew before the game that there was no friggin way I was going to sip on red kool-aid. This long suffering fan just refused to allow my emotions to take over. That lasted about ten minutes when it dawned on me that it was going to be a long game. The gods were going to take me on a rollercoaster ride - whether or not I wanted it.
You know how it starts.First you notice a tightness in your neck. Next you realize that your leg is shaking. After that loud noises from the trolley's outside make you jump, and the sight of Howard and Werth striking out on both of their first two at bats almost makes you wish that The Dating Game Was still on. You look at the remote, but the baseball gods will not allow you to touch it. Finally the sight of Cody Ross coming to bat causes fear and dread to spread throughout the body.
I had already finished one of my bowls and still had a full bowl of popcorn when the Giants took the early lead. Anxiety and depression at the same time. Shit Halladay had not brought his A game and our guys were'nt exactly hitting Lincecum.
Here I am tense as a Tea Party asshole and our guys were making it worse by competing actively for thr Dick Stuart Dr Strangeglove. Both Howard and Utley scored Strangeglove points tonight with Utley slightly ahead. Did you notice how every throw he made was an adventure. He was either throwing the ball over Howard's head or trying his best to pull him off the bag.
The Jeltz Award still has many contenders, but the field is getting tighter now that Ibanez saw fit to join the festivities by getting his first playoff hit - and scored.
The baseball gods decided to create the play that I will call - "THE BUNT". I have never seen anything like that, and don't expect to see it again. A fitting touch to that play was Sandoval's inability to get is fat leg to the base. The gods were hysterical, but all of a sudden the Phillies had a two run lead. All I could wonder was how the gods were going to arrange for us to blew this. There were oh so many ways, and they are so creative.
I think I am more tense when the Phillies are holding on to a slim lead - especially with guys in the Giants line-up who have savaged the candy strippers. Would it be Cody Ross again tonight, or would a struggling Torres be the one to turn out the lights on the Phillies? I was tight. I prayed that the gods wanted to come back to Philly for another round of cheesesteaks (wid). That was my only hope.
I was so tense thinking about having a one run lead going into the ninth knowing that Charlie was going to call on his guy to close out the game. I tried to say the guys name, but could only manage a weak LLLLLLLLL. I thought - so this is how the gods were going to do it. They were going to send Brad Lidge out to finish the game with only a one run lead- after the Phillies had gone quietly in the top of the ninth. Well they didn't go quietly as Jason put one in the seats to give Lidge a bit of a cushion.
I was screaming at the tv when McCarver said that Lidge now knows he doesn't have to be perfect - that he has room to make a mistake. Nooooooo, don't say that asshole - what if Lidge hears and believes you. There could be bases loaded with no outs after the first three batters. I lost it completely when Joe Buck, trying to top McCarver reminded us out there in couchland that Lidge had saved 17 of his last 18 chances during the season. Shut-up douchebag, the gods can here you and decide they didn't want any cheesesteaks. Not wanting to have the big one watching Lidge I went in to the next room. I listened, but I couldn't watch.
The gods must want those cheesesteaks pretty bad because we get to go through this again Saturday night. And glad I am that we get the shot. We may be on life support, but our team is still doing what the Mets are not - they are playing baseball.
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