Monday, October 11, 2010

Mayo Smith Is Smiling

If you don't know who Mayo Smith was you are not a Philadelphia Phillies fan and should watch soccer or ice hockey on a 19" black and white tv. I'll never figure out how anybody can watch either of those so called sports. How sick is it that these people can play for days before anyone comes close to scoring.

Well let's be honest. Raise your hand if your sphincter tightened when Polanco let the ball go through his legs. If you didn't raise your hand you are lying or you were one of the three people in Philly who were watching the Eagles. Let's hope the Phils can give us a parade because Fat Andy's guys have no shot - they really suck.

Now that the Phillies are about to defend their pennant, I'm sure that the Braves are glad they are about to be eliminated by the Giants. I mean really, stop the sentimental shit about Bobby Cox retiring - I'm sick of it. Fuck Bobby Cox. Yes, the Braves did suffer a bunch of injuries - so fucking what! Charlie had to play guys like Hoover, and whatever the other catchers name is. Way to go Charlie! Shit, if the Braves find a way to come back and beat the Giants, Charlie can play Sweeney, Gload, Valdez, Schneider, and the clubhouse boy so his starters can rest for the series.The Bravo's have been mind-fucked by the Phillies and know that they cannot beat them.

How about CARLOS RUIZ!!!!! How can a guy who is built like him hit a 105mph pitch? This Cuban kid looks like the real deal, but not this year! If Ruiz is not your favorite Phillie, then you need to go to Modells and buy either a Braves jersey, or a Mets hat - your choice. Ruiz has become the straw that stirs the red kool-aid. All season long this guy has been leading this team, and he is my Phillie of the year. (Shut up about Halliday. The guy lost 10 games, plus Mormons are not eligible to win my awards. Fat Andy is also a Mormon - need I say more. I don't trust anybody who doesn't drink coffee, soda, alchohol. Hell Glenn Beck is a fucking LDS. What the hell are these folks doing inside therir temples to produce people like Beck?)

TBS ought to consider never broadcasting another game - ever. Who were those lame announcers tonight. If they had said that the pitch didn't hit Utley one more time you would heard me scream. Get over it TBS. Get over it Reds fans and put your orange and black shit on because your Reds have been swept. Baseball season is over in Cinncinati. Sit back, enjoy your favorite cheap beer and watch T.O. cause your Bengals to implode. Wait until he starts telling reporters that Carson Palmer is a bigger bitch than D-Mac. Trust me - he will do so. Palmer threw so many ints today that I almost lost my first fantasy football game. The only thing worse than having to listen to tonights broadcasters again would be having to listen to Buck and McCarver. Buck & McCarver are the reason we have mute buttons on our remotes.

The last thing for tonight is my award for the Phillies MVP of the series. Scott Rolen, come on down and accept your award!! Mr Fucking Gold Glove! Mr Clutch! Mr veteran who will show the kids how to become winners! We here in Philly who loathe you for the unkind words said about our town when you left are pleased to present you with the Dick Stuart Fielding Award! You showed consistency in all three games with your fielding and throwing & we here in Philly applaud you. You did real well at the plate too, Dude. One useless hit? What's that all about Mr Scott Boras Gazillionaire? Fuck you Rolen. Fuck you Joe Morgan, and another Fuck You for Bobby Cox!!

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